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Slight entertainment writer flex here — if such a thing possibly exists — but I was absolutely crushed with screeners last week, particularly for The Suicide Squad, Stillwater, Jungle Cruise, and M. Night Shyamalan’s Old. Of those four, Old was the only one I didn’t make it to, and now I wish I had. Nothing against Old or M. Night, really, it’s just the other films held priority: I was interviewing Matt Damon for Stillwater (second flex of the paragraph, no big deal), The Suicide Squad is a film the DCEU *needs* to be good, and Jungle Cruise features two of Hollywood’s best movie stars. Plus, the timing just didn’t work. All that said, given the uproarious reaction to the movie so far, I wish I’d made the time because while it’s not something I’m willing to pay for, it’s definitely something I want to see.
In case you haven’t already heard, the plot of Old is that a family finds themselves on a beach that makes them… you guessed it, old! Old very quickly. Lifetime in a day type stuff. Like most of M. Night’s films, it’s a wicked premise. And, similarly, like most of M. Night’s films, it apparently doesn’t quite come together in the end, as the film currently boasts a 50% critics score and 51% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.
If nothing else, though, Old — once again, like most of M. Night’s films, nothing a pattern here? — is driving conversation amongst movie fans, this time in the form of hilarious and intentionally simplistic memes about “the beach that makes you old.”
— Post Cred Pod (@PostCredPod) July 26, 2021
The opening scene of Saving Private Ryan on D-Day, but instead they stormed the Old Beach pic.twitter.com/k1Xozrhbgw
— Jason (@jasonosia) July 25, 2021
“so there’s a beach that makes you old?” pic.twitter.com/UigZzvS2VR
— alex (@alex_abads) July 25, 2021
BREAKING: Jason Derulo has fallen down the stairs at the beach that makes you old pic.twitter.com/EFtuzUOiTl
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) July 23, 2021
you’re laughing, we’re on a beach that makes you old and you’re laughing pic.twitter.com/QJ1QLXzqd5
— cleo (@unspilledbeans) July 24, 2021
please captain america, you need to get off the beach that makes you old pic.twitter.com/Xa8vPVIDRF
— tiny snek comics (@tinysnekcomics) July 25, 2021
ok everyone stop posting about that beach, it got old fast
— ali richman (@alirichthem) July 25, 2021
That’s what I love about the beach that makes you old, man. I keep getting older and everyone else keeps getting older as well.
— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) July 25, 2021
If you brought Benjamin Button to the OLD beach would he get younger or older pic.twitter.com/dc0ai6DkMB
— 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚙𝚒𝚡𝚒𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 (@mathewrodriguez) July 25, 2021
all beaches make you Old. it’s called sun damage
— bailey meyers (@baileymeyers) July 24, 2021
a beach that makes you old? in this economy?
— karen han (@karenyhan) July 25, 2021
some of you need to go to that old beach so you can grow the fuck up
— 🕳⚰️💨 (@hedlike_a_hole) July 25, 2021
me taking my husbands to the beach that makes you old pic.twitter.com/dX7h9Pth7k
— alex (@alex_abads) July 25, 2021
Paul Rudd when he gets to the beach in Old vs when Paul Rudd leaves the beach a few days later pic.twitter.com/kDn16pQSJH
— Mr Bean’s Stunt Double (@MustacheDad) July 25, 2021
Old, which stars Gael García Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Eliza Scanlen, Thomasin McKenzie, Alex Wolff, Abbey Lee, and more, is currently playing in theaters.
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