Pawternity Leave, PTO After Getting A Dog, Is Now A Real Debate Because No One Wants To Work Anymore

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The Great Resignation is upon us.

Last week, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics announced that a record 4.3 million Americans (2.9% of the entire workforce) quit their jobs in August.

Texas A&M psychologist Anthony Klotz claims “pandemic epiphanies” propelled by remote work have motivated workers to un-anchor their career-centric identities and live their damn lives.

Some are flat our quitting, while others are demanding compensation, benefits, and balance so unconventional, it almost feels like a real-life Onion article.

Insert: Pawternity Leave.

Roger Wade, the founder of British events company Boxpark, set up a LinkedIn poll after an employee asked for paid leave to look after a puppy, three years after craft beer company BrewDog started offering employees a week’s “puppy parental leave”.

Wade’s inquiry was sparked by one of his employees asked him if he could take paid time off to look after his new best friend.

The results: 34,000 responses, 61% against it, 39% for it.

A participant who argued against it:

“The world has officially gone mad,” another man barked, “39% of people actually think it’s ok to have time off for having a dog! This is an underlying issue with society, the fact that people feel entitled to everything… It’s not your employers issue or responsibility. If you feel that burning desire to get a dog, change your circumstances to allow it.”

A participant who argued for it:

“New puppy owner here, currently on week 4 of sleepless nights, cleaning up messes and running around after pup whilst trying to hold down a full-time job. I would have loved a couple of weeks off… to be able to do my job to the best of my abilities and settle my new family member in!” one stated, according to the New York Post.

In the end, Wade allowed his employee to work from home until the puppy is properly acquainted.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.