Lets imagine we’re all flies on the wall for the Peeps board meeting.
Exec: Our product sucks.
Entire room (in unison): HELL YEAH!
Exec: It tastes like a marshmallow fucked a Yankee Candle.
Bill, director of sales: WOOOOOO!
Exec: But we’re not there yet. We need to continue our mission to bring sadness and diabetes to every child in America.
Norman (staring blankly out the window): I hate my wife.
Exec: Ok ok ok, Norm, we’re getting somewhere. What do you hate more than Linda?
Norm: My middle son, Trevor.
Exec: Even more…
Norm: When I fill the toilet with a full roll of toilet paper and my ass is still caked with shit.
Entire room: *nods in agreement*
Exec: But the ONE thing that makes you want to drive your ’92 Kia into your garage, roll up your windows, turn on the engine and drift off to sleep.
Norm: Oh, easy. Candy corn.
Exec: THAT’S IT. We will now sell candy corn flavored Peeps!
Vladimir, Product Developer: [protected-iframe id=”081ab8953b54b2ed8811c951d6562b1c-97886205-37946113″ info=”https://giphy.com/embed/P0RWkdsRpK7ss” width=”480″ height=”390″ frameborder=”0″ class=”giphy-embed” allowfullscreen=””]
Exec: Norm, as a show of my appreciation, you and your family will now receive a year’s worth of Candy Corn Peeps.
Norm: *gets up, opens 20th floor window, swan dives out*
Norm, I’m with you bro.