These Portable Chairs You Wear On Your Pants Are A Big ‘F You’ To Those Co-Workers Who Use Standing Desks


Do you guys have people in your office that actually utilize those standing desks? If so, do not trust those people. Those people are not your friends. Those are the same people who only drink alcohol if they pound a glass of water in between each drink. Those are the same people who fire off follow-up emails at 4:52 pm on a Friday. Those are the same people who ask one too many asinine questions at company-wide meetings just to kiss ass. They could be perfectly nice men and women, but you’re going to need to be more than nice to get invited to my birthday party.

There is this toxic idea that’s growing legs in workplaces around America that “sitting is the new cancer.” I’ve actually heard someone say that in complete seriousness. Apple’s CEO Tim Cook mainstreamed this idea by equipping his thousands of employees with standing desks, just one of the many health perks in Apple’s $5 billion headquarters along with a 100,000-square-foot gym and a two-story yoga room.

Back in 2015, Cook cited doctors who say “standing is the new cancer.” He then announced the new Apple Watch feature that reminds you not to sit for too long.

Well, there has been a counter-movement to this idea for those who loathe standing. The only requirement is you must have no dignity,  zero fucks to give, and totally okay with looking like a human grasshopper.

This contraption screams Big Dick Energy.

It looks like it’s getting pretty well received on social media…

Society isn’t ready for the social stigma. That doesn’t invalidate the genius of the product.