Post Malone Created An Entire Coachella In Two Hours While On Mushrooms Based Off One Sound From Roblox

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At the time of this writing, I am just five minutes through Post Malone’s three hour and 46 minute interview on the Joe Rogan Experience and I already have enough evidence to make the following claim:

Post Malone is the coolest motherfucker on the planet.

And for the people in back:

Post Malone is the coolest motherfucker on the planet. 

While most guests prepare for their coveted slot on the biggest podcast on the planet by reheating their Cancel Culture Is Bad takes and cooling off in a cryo chamber, Post Malone shows up high as giraffe balls wearing a gas station hat and ripping a billion lung darts at the peak of a respiratory pandemic.

Is this the Joe Rogan’s studio or my grandmother’s kitchen table after grampy went off to war?

Post Malone, a 25-year-old rapper from Syracuse, is so influential that he convinced Joe Rogan, the $100 million cultural behemoth, to join him in his psychedelic journey.

“Music is tight.”

The pair kick off their marathon conversation by addressing the elephant in the room, figuratively for you and me, but I really think Rogan and Post think there’s an actual elephant in the room.


Rogan:  “If you do the right amount of mushrooms, get in a float tank, you can meet aliens.

That’s why I like weed, weed makes you vulnerable and for someone like me, that’s a good thing. Just look at all the vulnerabilities in life and the temporary nature of it. It makes me more appreciative. The fear makes me more appreciative.”

“Mushrooms are a different animal man, they just bring you to this weird place that’s like right next door. It’s like a hall pass to this other place, like you get a VIP bracelet, you get to go into another room.”

Post: “But you don’t get to go in until you get that bracelet.”

Anyone who’s had a profound experience on mushrooms (humblebrag) knows that nothing they said makes any sense, while also making the most sense.

At the 4:38 mark, Post tells an amazing story about how microdosing enhances his craft.

“I’ve been doing these microdoses for a while, and you don’t really catch it until you do like 10 right off the rip. But then I ate these chocolates the other day, these shroomies chocolates. And me and my producer Lou, we made a Coachella set for about two hours based off Roblox. Do you know the death sound of Roblox?


“And then I sampled it and we made a whole two-hour set off the deal with just a floor-to-the-floor kickdrum and it was the time of my life.

And I felt like I got that VIP wristband, and I was backstage at Ziggy and Tyler’s concert. The aliens.”

To get an idea of the scope of that decision, here is Post at Coachella in 2018 performing in front of no less than a billion people.

Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Coachella

I’ve advanced to the six-minute mark and Rogan just pulled a “where do you get your ideas?” to Post. I gotta sign off. Listen with me, brother.



Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.