I always had a problem with people saying that ‘all water tastes the same.’ Just like people, we come in all different sizes, shapes, colors, and in waters’ case, taste. As you can see, I have some time on my hands so I am going to go ahead and give you my starting five of one of the greatest gifts on the planet, water.
I am fully aware that there are going to be some firm disagreement on this and might even start a few debate wars at the office today, but I can live with that.
Here I go. A completely scientific ranking of the best bottled water on the planet, ranked and reviewed for your hydration pleasure.
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Last but certainly not least, although filtered, Dasani water has been flying under the radar for years. Great bang for your buck, a 24 case of these bad boys are not going to blow you away, but will definitely get the job done with its consistency.
4. Trader Joe’s Spring Water
At times I find myself eating even on a full stomach solely to set my pallet up for a perfect sip of Trader Joe’s Spring Water. A sleeper in the water game and something to definitely not be taken lightly. It’s not going to blow you away with bottle design, but it’s a water that gives you everything its got day in and day out to ensure satisfaction.
Tough to beat the plastic on these bottles. I consider Voss water bottles the bulldog of bottles. Tough and reckless yet they give you the longevity of being able to refill that bottle for weeks. The water inside is average, but nothing gets my approval quite like a bottle of water with a great shield of plastic.
2. Smart Water
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No bottle of water makes you feel like you have your shit together more than a bottle of Smart Water. There’s a certain level of confidence you have going about your day knowing that you can afford to spend $3.48 on a bottle of water. Its a move I rarely make because I can’t afford it, but definitely a move I make when I feel like splurging. A rare bottle to find, but when you do, you have to pounce on it.
1. Poland Spring
There’s not much I can really say on this other than, if you know, you know. Poland Spring is the best bottled water on the planet. May all of my fellow east coasters, please rise. There is nothing and I mean NOTHING like pouncing on one of these puppies after a legit slice of dollar-slice New York pizza. Something about this liquid just takes me home. A New York Yankees win, followed by a slice and a Poland Spring water is all I will ever need in life.
Robby Berger is the host of The Brilliantly Dumb Show. Follow him on Instagram here.