I’ll Venmo You $20 If Rick Astley Singing ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ With A 200-Person Choir Doesn’t Bring You To Your Feet


Never Gonna Give You Up (1987). The music equivalent of sticking in a finger in your butt while masturbating: it feels so good but you’re afraid to admit it to any of your friends. Much like Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know, you blast it at parties under the guise of irony but when the party dies and you’re all by yourself, you light candles and bow in front of a Rick Astley shrine. He is your God, and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. How many songs has Jesus released that have gone Platinum? He may have been able to turn water into wine but Rick Astley brought my grandmother out of her wheelchair and to her feet for the first time in two decades when Never Gonna Give You Up came on her transistor radio

Same, dad. Same.

[protected-iframe id=”05a367720a067e097f2092b4b19374f5-97886205-37946113″ info=”https://giphy.com/embed/cE6lTftUbA0YE” width=”480″ height=”270″ frameborder=”0″ class=”giphy-embed” allowfullscreen=””]

P.S. Little known fact about the song: in 12 countries around the world, if evidence is brought to light that you changed the radio station while it was playing, you can be legally executed. I don’t make the rules. But if I did, I’d support this law.

[h/t For the Win]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.