Guy Opens ‘Wildly Corroded’ Can Of Spider-Man Pasta From 1995 And The Contents Do Not Disappoint

Being stuck in self-isolation for the last month – or more for some – has left people with plenty of time on their hands.

Matt, the creator of Dinosaur Dracula – a website about 1980s toys, 1990s candy, holidays, horror movies and weird recipes – is spending that time unearthing some amazing products from days past.

Recently, Matt stumbled upon an unopened can of Spider-Man pasta from Michelin star tastemaker Chef Boyardee.

Just in case you don’t remember this delicacy, here’s the commercial from back in 1995.

Cartoons sell pasta, folks.

So back to Matt.

Naturally, people wanted to know what the hell was in the can, so the tweet easily cruised past 1995 retweets.

Matt opened up the 25-year-old pasta can to uncover something more disgusting than any Marvel villain.

Here’s the full account from Matt:

“Opening a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995: a thread.

I put the can opener to work, unsettled by the rust, but emboldened by the lack of noxious fumes. I turn the knob and wince, unable to rule out the possibility that the contents have mutated into something alive & malevolent.

They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but there’s nothing funny about 15 ounces of Spider-Man Pasta reduced to a rotted 3-ounce chunk. Recalling the fate of Jordy Verrill in Creepshow, I’m thankful for my rubber gloves.

I carefully remove the mass, which looks like a cross between Big Thunder Mountain and one of those Geonosian hives from Attack of the Clones.

I think I notice something, but consult the label on the can to be sure. Indeed, there’s poor Spider-Man, trapped in this godforsaken toxic monstrosity. I’m sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me.”

A follower of Matt’s quickly turned these disgusting pasta remains into a relatable meme.

https://twitter.com/orimental/status/1251017846840102912

[via Twitter]