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There was a great piece in Men’s Health today, where a woman tells the story of how she had to break up with her boyfriend because he refused to wear a mask. It’s worth a full read, mainly because their relationship sounds outrageously bad and will make you feel better about yours. But I want to break down some of the standout moments here.
Right off the bat, first paragraph, we know we’re in for a wild ride:
In January 2020, my then-boyfriend moved into my studio apartment in Manhattan. We had been dating for nine months and things were going really well.
Tell me if this equation adds up:
Dating 9 months + studio apartment = happy relationship
LOL. If I’m your 6th grade math teacher, I’m writing “see me” in red pen on your quiz. I’ve lived with two girlfriends in my life. The first, I dated for FOUR YEARS before we moved in together. The second (and my current girlfriend), we dated for almost two years before we decided to cohabitate. I know that stages of life/age can expedite the move-in process, but when you’re only sitting on single-digit MONTHS together? And moving in to a STUDIO? That’s the relationship equivalent of basejumping with a parachute patched together by Jason Pierre-Paul.
We focused on the topic of moving in together—when it’s right, if you should, etc.—on our podcast Oops. Check it out:
Next:
Things were going so well that just four months into our relationship, he introduced me to his parents. I was a little surprised that he introduced me so soon, but I was also very happy.
Meeting his parents four months in is soon?! That’s where you draw the line on meeting the parents, but MOVING IN TOGETHER at NINE MONTHS is fine?! God forbid this lady and I ever have to corroborate timelines of a crime we both witnessed. No CHANCE we’d be on the same page.
More on the home front:
There were other warning signs, but I was determined to make our relationship work… So at the beginning of the summer, I found us a two-bedroom to share near where his parents lived. I went into the lease knowing the relationship might not work out… so I made sure to hold onto my studio apartment just in case.
A SECOND APARTMENT?! YOU GUYS HAVE MULTIPLE HOMES? Dear God! Who is this lady, 50 Cent?! Word of advice for all you young kids out there: if you feel the need to “hold on” to your other apartment as a hedge against your relationship? You probably shouldn’t sign that second lease.
Now, on to the mask stuff. She claims that this is where things became unbearable—their irreconcilable views on masks and vaccines. But I think we’re all pretty aware this relationship was doomed for other reasons.
Early on in the pandemic, he didn’t see the importance of wearing a mask, so he didn’t buy one, using a bandana instead… He made running errands together impossible. We would be all set to walk into a grocery store and he would tell me he preferred to wait in the car rather than wear a mask. It was annoying, he said; it was hard to breathe, he said.
Ohhhh he’s a bandana bro. I remember those guys. You don’t see them much anymore, but they were the dudes who seemed to accept the need to cover their faces but wouldn’t sacrifice their carefully-crafted desperado image. Watch out, here comes an outlaw!
Refusing to help your girlfriend get groceries is just a huge dick move. This guy sucks, plain and simple, and she’s ignoring the brightest of bright red flags and focusing only on these lesser, pinkish flags. Like this:
When I mentioned how concerned I was about receiving my ballot, he blurted out that he didn’t believe in voting. Honestly, I was shocked.
I asked him if he would get a COVID-19 vaccine once it became available… That’s when I learned he didn’t believe in any vaccine because he claimed he never got sick and that he had a great immune system.
Yes, these would be dealbreakers for me too. But I’m extremely confident that I would have learned of these glaring idealogical differences by week five? How does this not come up?!!!
Look, I don’t mean to be a dick, but the fact that you got to the point in your relationship where you were MOVING IN TOGETHER and you didn’t know that 1) he doesn’t value democracy 2) he’s an anti-vaxxer means that you have to shoulder some of the blame. Obviously, we hate your boyfriend. But you should have hated him a lot sooner.
Sorry the relationship fell apart though. Hate to see it. Best of luck out there guys.