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Taylor Swift seems to be once again trying to reinvent herself. What are we on now? Taylor Swift v4.0 or is it v5.0? She does this pretty every time she puts out a new album. Remember “Bad Blood” T-Swizzle? That was a fun version of Tay.
Now, with another new album out, Reputation, Swift is once again in the middle of another earth-shattering life change. At least according to a little profile done on the singer for this month’s issue of British Vogue.
In this profile, the Vogue Daily editor basically drools all over Swift, heaping hyperbole upon hyperbole when describing the star.
As the 27-year-old prepares to embark on a global stadium tour, her career-shaping fashion journey in the January 2018 issue shows yet again what an unstoppable force of nature the pop queen, who has long since graduated from a pop princess, has become.
Wow. I had no idea Taylor Swift was an “unstoppable force of nature” and that she had been on a “career-shaping fashion journey.” Where does one go on a journey like that? Hoboken? El Paso?
Editor-in-chief of the magazine, Edward Enninful, amped the slobbering over Swift up to an even higher level, calling her “America’s most fascinating sweetheart.”
Really? How does one earn such a lofty title? Is this because she used to date Loki?
He also called her a “world-class lyricist” and bragged about the “stunning poem” Swift wrote (instead of, you know, doing an interview) about “the timely subject of reinvention and moving on” exclusively for #NewVogue. Whatever that is.
Now, you can actually go read the poem called “The Trick to Holding On” here. Orrr… you can just take these folks’ word for it and save yourself a few valuable minutes of your life.
This might be the most embarrassing thing anyone has ever done https://t.co/imcVjbzPjz
— Kate Solomon (@katiesol) December 6, 2017
— Gemma Samways (@gemtriesharder) December 6, 2017
I'd rather fall down a hole than publish that poem
— Kate Solomon (@katiesol) December 6, 2017
https://twitter.com/rrrosco/status/938380468701028352
I object to rhyming cure with more
— Marianne Levy (@MarianneLevy) December 6, 2017
https://twitter.com/philiplgbennett/status/938379755728097280
https://twitter.com/slatt3rn/status/938383282600787970
https://twitter.com/bridgetminamore/status/938382978421526530
https://twitter.com/laurasnapes/status/938377183009046528
*clears throat, steps jauntily onto literary soapbox* 📣 random 📣 line 📣 breaks 📣 do 📣 not 📣 a 📣 poem 📣 make https://t.co/ZFU3HTrfxC
— plop king (@kingchatchaval) December 6, 2017
that Taylor Swift poem
is a bit sixth form
poetry contest,
isn't it?lots of edgy line breaks,
and metaphors
and deep lines
about growing upthat don't actually make
sense.
— 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖗𝖆𝖉 𝕯𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖆𝖓 (@theconradduncan) December 6, 2017
Taylor Swift's poem kinda reminds of the stuff STEM majors would turn in for their creative writing workshop they took as an elective because they thought it would be a blow off class, and they would believe they'd written something earthshattering and…well…
— Christmas is a Die Hard holiday (@MeganRenaeOK) December 8, 2017
Taylor Swift wrote a poem for British Vogue and it's basically every emo diary entry you wrote in high school. You need to read it. https://t.co/7KvlCqsMw1 pic.twitter.com/nmzfbgzDXF
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) December 7, 2017
Ouch.
Me? I still firmly believe Swift is the Illuminati clone of a Satanic church leader.
On the plus side, they did take some really nice pictures!