I’m in no position to vouch for my coolness when I was in high school. Braces, cheeky AND 1 t-shirts, jean shorts, and a debilitating fear of women were my Mount Rushmore of character traits. But holy fuck, I was Zach Morris compared to the contestants that were featured on last night’s Teen Jeopardy.
As a warning, I must say that the comfort level you are about to feel can most adequately be described as watching a porno with your parents in wet socks while doing wall sits.
Did I just watch the trailer for the sequel of Step Up?
My oh my, these Jeopardy producers are cold-blooded for putting these kids through the ringer. I’m surprised these assholes didn’t make the contestants freestyle rap or throw a ball.
For the record, there was a split second I felt bad making fun of teenagers, but then I realized that all of them could be my boss one day so technically I’m punching up.
And so are countless people on Twitter.
I need to take a shower.