Hey CDC, Thanksgiving WILL NOT Be Defeated By Your Garbage Regulations This Year

Thanksgiving is less than two months away, and the CDC released safety guidelines given the pandemic is still going on


It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is (*checks calendar*) less than two months away from now. Like, seriously, how in the hell did that happen? If you asked me what I was doing on July 28th, I would easily be able to tell you: Sitting at home wondering what the hell this strange year of 2020 has left in store for us. Two months from now, I’ll be doing the same thing — except I plan on stuffing myself silly with gobs of food with friends and family.

Of course, given the fact that the pandemic is still going on, there are rules to these simple activities, and eating a load of grub comes with extra precaution. That’s according to the CDC, which released some safety guidelines to follow for all those people (ahem, every American) who wants to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. Take a look at the suggestions; which are complete trash.

Per the New York Post:

Low-Risk Thanksgiving Activities

  • Having a small dinner with only the people who live in your household
  • Having a virtual dinner and sharing recipes with friends and family
  • Shopping online rather than in person on the day after Thanksgiving or the next Monday
  • Watching sports events, parades, and movies from home

Moderate-Risk Thanksgiving Activities

  • Having a small outdoor dinner with family and friends who live in your community
  • Visiting pumpkin patches or orchards where people use hand sanitizer before touching pumpkins or picking apples, wearing masks is encouraged or enforced, and people are able to maintain social distancing
  • Attending a small outdoor sports events with safety precautions in place

High-Risk Thanksgiving Activities

  • Going shopping in crowded stores just before, on, or after Thanksgiving
  • Participating in or being a spectator at a crowded race
  • Attending crowded parades
  • Using alcohol or drugs, which the agency says can cloud judgment and increase risky behaviors
  • Attending large indoor gatherings with people from outside of your household

In other words: The CDC wants to cancel Thanksgiving this year.

Sure, that might be a loaded statement, but, when looking at those guidelines presented by the national public health institute, what the hell stands out to you as being OK?

It’s suggested to have a Thanksgiving dinner with only people in your household, and, if you want to include others from outside your home, it’s recommended to do so virtually. What? No. Never. That’s not how our forefathers intended the best holiday all year long to be done.

Oh, and then the CDC actually wants us to refuse using alcohol or drugs on Thanksgiving? I’m not certain, but I’m almost sure weed and booze were specifically made to survive the holidays, so there’s no way in hell any of us are going to give that up.

While the pandemic is still raging on and people need to be safe and practice social distancing so not to infect others (especially elders), the CDC’s recommended guidelines pretty much put a halt on Thanksgiving this year, and make it seem like the holiday should pretty much be spent alone with nothing but a couple of cold slices of pizza, a gallon of water and some streaming football at our disposal. Forget that, because we deserve to celebrate this holiday as we normally would — and you can’t take that from us, 2020.

(H/T NY Post)

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