Vin Diesel, Sayer Of Very Normal Things, Says The ‘Fast’ Franchise “Auditions” The Cars They Use

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I’m not sure when or why it happened, but one day, I just decided I simply do not like Vin Diesel. Nothing personal, of course, but rather, as a movie star, as a business. I just do not understand the Vin Diesel appeal. The guy fell ass-backward into the bizarrely successful Fast franchise, and as a result, thinks he’s some sort of cinematic icon. Can you name a single movie he’s starred in the last, I don’t know, 10 or 15 years that isn’t a Fast movie or a Guardians movie? Didn’t think so. For those who follow my writing, I feel the same way about Vin Diesel as I do Jared Leto and Avatar: my feelings may not even be legit at this point, but I’m so committed to the bit that I have no choice but to forge forward anyway.

And really, how could I not? Vin Diesel makes it incredibly easy to make fun of Vin Diesel. Take last spring, for example, when he claimed that the final Paul Walker scene in Furious 7 is “the greatest moment in cinematic history.” And he said it with a straight face!

RELATED: Vin Diesel Disassociates From Reality, Ignores Generations Of Filmmaking, Says ‘Furious 7’ Ending Is ‘Greatest Moment’ In Movie History

We don’t even have to go back that far: all you have to do is rewind the clocks back to last week when Diesel revealed John Cena was “sent” to his “Dom Shrine” by Paul Walker, which made him feel like Cena’s casting was meant to be. The man is a spigot of bullshit and his latest revelation about the Fast franchise is no exception.

Appearing on an episode of EW’s BINGE: The Fast Saga podcast, Diesel that the franchise “auditions” the cars they use in an effort to “cast” a vehicle for the “state of mind that the character is in”:

“Part of the process of Fast is we’ve always auditioned our cars,” the actor said. “The cars have really been such a significant part and representation of our characters, that there is a process of casting, right? Of casting the exact vehicle for the state of mind that the character is in, or the journey that the character is going through.”

Again, just absurd, but when you’re an actor who’s gotten away with such nonsense for two decades, it’s not all that surprising, either.

RELATED: Vin Diesel Realized John Cena’s Casting Was ‘Meant To Be’ When Paul Walker ‘Sent Him’ To His ‘Dom Shrine’

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