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The Mega Millions jackpot currently sits at $900 million which means people across America are already fantasizing about all the things they’re going to do with the money if they win (the dude from Office Space would be set up to have one hell of a time).
I’ve already made a mental list of all the things I’m going to do when I take home the jackpot, a list that includes:
- Purchasing an arena football team
- Securing the rights to the music catalog of Sugar Ray
- Funding a Mark Ruffalo movie
- Naming a college building “Fart Hall”
- Buying Joe Merrick’s remains
Shoutout to the Bare Naked Ladies for the inspiration for that last one.
Eat your heart out, Zak Bagans.
I’m assuming you have your own set of plans if you happen to take home the prize and you’ll probably be tempted to splurge as soon as the check clears, but if one expert is to be believed, there’s only one thing you should do if you manage to match the Mega Millions numbers.
USA Today spoke with Jason Kurland, an attorney who specializes in lottery law.
According to Kurland, the first thing you should do after winning the lottery is call a lawyer to ensure you don’t suffer the fate of countless winners who came before you:
“It sounds self-serving, but the first thing you should do is call us or an attorney you trust.”
“You want to start surrounding yourself with people who have the experience to do this sort of thing.”
It’s no secret everyone you’ve ever met in your life (and people you haven’t) will start crawling out of the woodwork in search of a piece of the pie, and even if you manage to fend them off, you’re still more likely to declare bankruptcy than the average American.
I’ll keep that in mind when I win tomorrow.