Woman Finds Live Frog In Her Packaged Salad Mix And Nearly Has A Panic Attack

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Simple Truth mission statement includes making it “easier to find affordable and delicious foods that can be enjoyed the way nature intended.”

After the company’s name started making the rounds on social media this week, they’ll need to update their mantra to “delicious foods that can be enjoyed the way nature intended, with fucking toads all up in that shit.”

A Twitter user named Karlie Allen is going viral after finding a frog, alive and well, in her boxed salad mix.

Simple Truth, who apparently has a robot working as a customer service rep on Twitter, has been having a progressively shitty August.

Twitter


Twitter


Twitter


Upon further investigation, I’ve come to the conclusion that Salad Frog are an epidemic.

Daniel Hughes, a research associate with the Department of Animal Sciences at the University of Illinois, found reports of 40 incidents that occurred between 2003 and 2018 in which various news outlets posted of animals nestled between leaves of salad greens. Of those 40 incidents, 30 were amphibians and reptiles.

Hughes’ research found that many of these animals slip into greens “because the methods employed to combat deer intrusions are very different from those used for birds or to those for rodents or amphibians or pigs. Because there is no single solution to exclude animals from growing fields, farmers must rely on approaches that work for certain animal groups (e.g., large mammals).” [via USA Today]

What’s next? A dancing fucking chicken.

Dammit.

[h/t NY Post]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.