AMC
Back when I was at Rutgers, The Walking Dead was POPPIN’. Long before it became a living meme, The Walking Dead was legitimately considered one of the best shows on television. When people would talk about AMC’s consistently excellent output, they’d cite Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and The Walking Dead.
Obviously, times have since changed, as the series — now in its tenth season — has become something of a joke in and of itself. Although recent seasons have seen a creative rebound, as far as I can tell, the general consensus seems to be that it’s a show that should have been put out of its misery long ago.
Nevertheless, the show’s early run of dominance provides the basis for this article, as it is the reason that I had this one bizarre thought years ago as I sat around my fraternity with my buddies, a blunt or two deep as we watched Rick Grimes and co. shoot their way out of another predictably tight spot: do you have a pair of Zombie Jeans?
AMC
Zombie Jeans (or pants) is a simple concept but a relative one all the same: if you notice, Rick Grimes more or less wears the same outfit for the course of entire seasons. While how much time is passing can be generally unclear, the growth of his beard suggests he spends weeks, if not months, wearing the same gear. And that’s an issue should such a scenario ever come to be in our reality.
Think about all the times you’ve come home from work and immediately — literally the first thing you do — take off your pants in favor of something more comfortable? That’s not gonna fly in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, chief. Not only do you need to be ready to simply sleep in said pants, but you need to be able to transition to zombie-fighting, fence-jumping, mile-running mode at a moment’s notice. It is paramount that in these life-or-death moments, you’re wearing a pair of jeans that can be relied on for any and all functions. They need to be both durable and comfortable. We haven’t even begun to discuss the camouflage factor: does black denim or the tan of cargo pants provide a tactical advantage that classic blue jeans simply cannot? Maybe you come from a military background and need as many pockets as possible, like The Rock in Fast Five.
Universal
Which leads me to my question: do you have a pair of Zombie Jeans? I sure as hell do — my slim-fitting black Levi’s 511s. To be clear, that’s slim-fitting, not ultra-slim — they have the ability to drape over a boot.
What you’re looking for is a balance between comfort and tact. I’m very much a jeans man — despite the fact that I work from home (before The Big Cancel), I still toss on jeans every morning, if only to feel somewhat professional — and when it comes to reliable jeans, there’s none better than the OG. As for why I’ve chosen black over traditional blue, not only does it provide further cover in the shadow of the night, but they also require less upkeep, as stains are much more concealed against the deep black denim.
Levis.com
As we’ve learned in the last month, our reality can be upended at any given moment. And the next time that happens, if shit really gets real, you’ll be out the door minutes faster than the next guy because you already know what pair of pants you’re going to spend the rest of your life in. And that, my friends — a good pair of Zombie Jeans — can be the difference between life and death.
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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com