Amber Heard Claims Johnny Depp Gave Her Quite The Shiner Under Her Right Eye After Hitting Her With An iPhone

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I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. Celebrities should not get married. They should all be like Oprah–just stay single, get caked up, and fuck whoever they want whenever they want. Does that life sound so bad? The only thing a celebrity marriage does besides turn into a predictable divorce, is pull back the curtains on these fucking sociopaths. And to think Johnny Depp actually tricked me into respecting him. It’s my fault. I should have known better.

Actress Amber Heard, 30, and Depp, 52, had been marriage a whole 15 months before Heard recently filed for divorce, citing ‘irreconcilable differences.’ (Heard and Depp last made news after releasing this painfully awkward video of the two apologizing to the Australian government for smuggling their dogs into the country.)

The irreconcilable differences, she alleges, may include Depp hitting her in the face with an iPhone, resulting in a visible bruise under her right eye.

According to TMZ, Heard has now filed for a restraining order, after claims Depp beat her up several times during their short relationship.

Amber claims during the alleged attack, Johnny shattered various objects in the apartment. She says she was on the phone with a friend during the fight, and when Johnny grabbed her phone she screamed to her friend, “Call the cops!” The friend called 911 and cops came to the residence.

Amber says when cops arrived Johnny had already fled, so they took a report.
Heard claims after he allegedly hit her he offered her money to stay quiet, but instead she filed for divorce first thing Monday morning.

Amber says she has video of one of the beatings.

A representative of Depp’s recently responded to the allegations and shamelessly used the loss of his mother to swing public opinion.

“Given the brevity of this marriage and the most recent and tragic loss of his mother, Johnny will not respond to any of the salacious false stories, gossip, misinformation and lies about his personal life. Hopefully the dissolution of this short marriage will be resolved quickly.”

Good lord, man. I know Johnny’s psyche was probably fucked up from preparing for the role of Whitey Bulger, Boston’s most notorious mob boss, but you lay your hands on a woman, you’re a fucking low life. End of story.