Spoiler alert: that “someone” was me. I wrote it.
If you hadn’t heard about the Seinfeld 9/11 spec script circulating across the internet last week, check this out if you’re a fan of the show. Like so many die-hard fans, I continue to watch the re-runs today even though I’ve already seen every episode multiple times. I follow both the real Seinfeld twitter account and the fake one. So, when I first heard about this “new” script I had to read it. And it was actually pretty, pretty good.
Of course, the closest we get to new Seinfeld episodes is its alter ego, brother from the same mother, Curb Your Enthusiasm. For the past couple of years, the most pressing question in the Caucasian universe has been whether Larry David would bring his HBO show back for another season. Thankfully, the answer is yes he will! During this period of Curb purgatory I wondered what another season might look like. And then Larry went on The Howard Stern Show to promote his brilliant Broadway comedy Fish in the Dark and I saw the light.
On Stern, Larry mentioned his obsession with the New York Jets and how he thought he could do a better job coaching them- we all think that about our favorite teams, but especially the Jets. As Larry stated, they’re a real mess. And so with that in mind, I set out to make Larry’s dream come true. I began writing a Curb spec: “Larry and the Jets.”
I’m well aware the “real” Curb has no scripts, only outlines- but, just for fun (and to maybe get noticed as a capable TV writer) I plotted out my story. I’ve previously written specs for The Larry Sanders Show, Entourage and Californication, so I was familiar with the format and process.
With Larry’s persona so anti-establishment and anti-societal I knew there was one player who would be the perfect cameo for shaking things up with Larry’s Jets (spoiler alert)- the return of the most polarizing player in league history, Tim Tebow. Personally, I (and millions of others) think Tebow got a raw deal with the ultra-conservative and stubborn NFL- never fully getting a legitimate chance to lead another team after he led the Broncos to an unlikely division title and improbable playoff win against the Steelers. He’s since completely re-worked his throwing motion during his time away.
Tim, I’m begging you- forget about this sudden baseball field of dreams and keep hope alive for football! Larry David may be giving you a call soon.
Here is the spec script for “Larry and the Jets.”
[protected-iframe id=”55619f45b830927f68e1f2c7c7a895e8-97886205-61771510″ info=”https://www.docdroid.net/1IPhzUw/curb-matoren-spec.pdf.html” width=”650″ height=”420″ frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen=””]
Steve Matoren is a Los Angeles based writer who previously wrote about golfing with Bill Murray for BroBible. He anxiously awaits the return of the real Curb Your Enthusiasm and attending his next Bruce Springsteen concert.