DJ Khaled With His Shirt Off May Be The Only Comfort I Have In Taking My Shirt Off At The Beach This Summer

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Summer is here. If you’re already fat, you’re only going to get fatter. I went to the beach last weekend and approached taking my shirt off with the same hesitation I do checking my bank account the Monday after a bachelor party. I legit almost claimed I had a debilitating sunburn to snake out of showing the bloated atrocity that is my body. I’m built like a fucking ice cream sandwich. Absolutely zero definition. I didn’t want to see DJ Khaled with his shirt off, I needed to. I needed a reminder that success is attainable when you look like you’re one burrito away from a stranger asking if you want a seat on the subway. DJ Khaled looks like shit. Probably hasn’t been able to tuck in his shirt comfortably since Clinton was President. But one thing’s for sure: Khaled fucks.

And that simple fact is what keeps me going.

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