This Dude’s Motivational Speech About Success Will Light An Inferno Under Your Ass

If a magic genie gave me three wishes, one of them would be to have this guy give me a pep talk every afternoon before I start my day. Screw coffee, I’d just need this Denzel Washington-looking-mafucka to tell me how worthless I am before I even brush my teeth to light a fire under my ass that has been dormant for nearly three decades.

This part of the speech speaks to me:

And what I hate about this generation, with the Snapchat and the Instagram, you can live something that you’re not living. You can fake it on Instagram, but when I follow you home..let me follow you home and see what you got.

It bothers me more than it should to see people who were useless in high school suddenly at a Vegas pool party on daddy’s dime accompanied with the caption ‘Casual Tuesday’ or ‘We DoN’t WaIt In LiNeS.’ I am also of the belief that for every selfie posted to social media it should be mandated, by law, to include the 10 that were discarded. It’s only fair. I have wasted so much time and money going on dates with girls who have falsely represented themselves on Instagram. I’m not saying that I’m shallow, well kinda, but if a girl is lying about what her face really looks like she’s also probably lying about her ‘platonic’ relationship with her personal trainer, Chaz. Trust is the basis of a relationship. We can all agree on that.

P.S. This speaker’s name is Eric Thomas. Follow him on Instagram for some enthusiastic doses of reality.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.