Who Were The Chillest Bros On Last Night’s ‘Game Of Thrones?’

by 3 years ago  •  28 Comments

daenerys-targaryen

HBO

Pretty much the chillest thing you can do with your life is be chill. We here at BroBible respect the chill. That’s why all season we’ve been giving props to the chillest Bros on everyone’s favorite #nochill show, Game of Thrones

So who were the chillest Chill Bros last night?

First up, the non-chill Bros from Episode Nine: The Dance of Dragons

Drogon

drogon

HBO


Before this episode, my co-worker Cass, who is well versed in the books, told me Drogon would redeem himself.

And you know what? He didn’t. There’s no denying what he did was cool. But being cool and being chill are not the same thing. Luke Perry was cool on 90210, but he was far from chill. Making his best friend miss his graduation to make sure he hadn’t killed himself is not chill.

And Drogon is still a mopey, moody, emo dragon.

Making your mom think she’s going to die is not chill. Not when you could have just as easily arrived five minutes earlier and prevented all that shit.

Chill Bro Points: -1,000

The Sons of The Harpy

the-sons-of-the-harpy

HBO


Attempted regicide =/= chill

Chill Bro Points: -500

Meryn Trant

ser-ilyn-payne

HBO


Also not equaling chill: pedophilia.

Chill Bro Points: -250

Arya Stark

arya-stark

HBO

How many god damn times do I need to tell you that you are at a school for the world’s best magic assassins? You gotta realize they’re gonna make coincidences like this occur, to really confirm you want to be a magic assassin.

Do you even want to be a magic assassin? I’m starting to wonder.

Chill Bro Points: -100

Now, for the Chill Bros.

5. Areo Hotah

areo-hotah

HBO

Chill indeed.

Chill Bro Points: 100

4. Melisandre

melisandre

HBO

I am not saying that burning a child alive for your dark arts is chill. All I am saying is that if you are gonna do that, you might as well own it. And say what you want about sacrificing children for the sake of the realm and to appease your Lord of Light, Melisandre owns that shit.

Chill Bro Points: 250

3. Ser Jorah Mormont

ser-jorah-mormont

HBO

I genuinely don’t think he cares if he gets exiled again. He really just wanted to make sure Daernerys was alright, and didn’t care what happened after. That’s hella chill.

Plus, that spear shot.

Chill Bro Points: 500

2. Ser Allister Thorne

ser-allister-thorne

HBO

Said it before and I’ll say it again. There is nothing more chill than doing your job.

Chill Bro Points: 750

1. Daenerys Targaryen

daenerys-targaryen

HBO

“HO HO HO. Now I have a machine gun.”

Chill Bro Points: 10,000

Here are the totals through nine episodes. Disagree? Comment me Bro.

1. Jon Snow: 599,950

2. Daenerys Targaryen : 11,000

3. Jaqen H’ghar: 9,950

4. Tormund Giantsbane: 5,000

T-5. Grey Worm: 1,700

T-5. The High Septon: 1,700

7. Ser Barristan Selmy: 1,300

T-8. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: 1,000

T-8. Ghost: 1,000

T-8. Roose Bolton: 1,000

11. Ser Allister Thorne: 750

12. Tyrion Lannister: 700

13. Maester Aemon: 600

T-14. The Wall: 500

T-14. Rhaegal And Viserion: 500

T-14. Poderick: 500

T-14. The Sand Snakes: 500

18. Samwell Tarly: 450

T-19. The Unsullied: 400

T-19. Ser Davos Seaworth: 400

T-19. Theon Greyjoy: 400

22. Lord Varys: 300

23. The Night’s King: 250

T-24. Winter: 100

T-24. Bronn the Sellsword: 100

T-24. Kevan Lannister: 100

T-24. Mance Rayder: 100

T-24: King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name: 100

T-24: Areo Hotah: 100

30. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 0

31. Daario Naharis: -25

32. Melisandre: -100

T-33. Stannis Baratheon: -100

T-33. Brienne of Tarth: -100

35. Myrcella Baratheon: -100

36. Arya Stark: -200

37. Ser Ilyn Payne: -250

38. The Sons of The Harpy: -300

39. The Sparrows: -1,000

40. Drogon: -1,500

41. Ser Jorah Mormont: -4,700

42: Lord Petyr Baelish -10,000

43. Cersei Lannister: -10,200

44. David Benioff and D.B. Weiss: Negative A Billion

Ramsey Bolton: Disqualified


TAGSbeing chillchill broschillingGame of Thronesgame of thrones chill bro rankings