Jason Sudeikis’ Terrible Pick-Up Line To Bag Olivia Wilde Proves That Celebs Don’t Need To Try

This is the difference between being a celebrity and an average joe. Celebs don’t need to cultivate game because their reputation proceeds them. Us peasants are constantly cold-calling and if we’re lucky we can convince our prospects that we haven’t murdered someone. “Whatever it is you’re looking for, you don’t need it.” Wow, Jason. Profound. How much ambien did you pop before thinking that one up? I guess it doesn’t matter what you said, as long as you said something. You could have whispered in Olivia’s ear, “I killed Teresa Halbach. Sucks for Steven” and she would have been like “HA, you’re that funny guy.” Can’t miss. Me? Well, it would go something like this:

“Whatever it is you’re looking for, you don’t need it.” *Double-eyed wink*
“I’m actually looking for my grandmother. She disappeared days ago and there is currently a state-wide manhunt for her.”
“Statistically, she’s likely dead. Care for a dance?”

Where’s my fucking serendipity, huh?

P.S. Four dates before a first kiss? Come on, Jason. You got Russell Wilson laughing at you. I got a three date anal rule. Nope, no I don’t.

You two look happy. Good for you.

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Best part of a great night. ❤️

A post shared by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on

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