Justin Bieber Drops Mic And Storms Off Stage After The Beliebers Were Being Loud At His Concert

No force in nature can stop an arena full of Beliebers from screaming, not even when their master tells them to shut the fuck up. Bieber has slowly began to loathe his fans, evident in him telling a group of admiring teens that they “suck” just last month.

Last night, while performing in Manchester, England, the 22-year-old Bieber was trying to have a heart-to-heart with thousands of restless 16-year-old girls who simply wouldn’t give him the silence he needed to let everyone know he has AIDs. Ok, that’s probably not true. But whatever he was trying to say, the crowd was just too high on love to listen. So, Bieber dropped the mic and walked off stage.

Bieber begrudgingly returned to the stage to make nice with his fans.

“I feel like I wanna connect with you. The point of the no screaming thing is that when I’m looking at you in the eyes you know that we’re actually having a moment and having a connection.”

Yo Biebs. Next time these fuckers get out of hand, try this method.

Bieber: Guys, can you quiet down. I have something to say.
Bieber: Um, guys I have a confession to make I need ya’ll to list–
Bieber: I’m, uh…
Bieber: I’m really a woman. [pulls down pants to show gaping vagina]
Bieber: Fuck, that didn’t work. [Grabs baby from audience]
[Punches baby in the fucking face. Spits on it. Throws it back]
[*10 seconds of silence overtakes the arena. Widespread whimpering ensues.]

If that don’t work, maybe you should try making music that doesn’t send teenage girls into fits.

[h/t Death and Taxes]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.