Why You Need To Listen To The Migos’ New Mixtape Right Now
Look, I’m not going to pretend to be a writer for Pitchfork and give you an informed music-based review of the Migos brand. Nah. That’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to find out how to finesse the plug and effectively trap out the bando.
What did I just say? Well, you’ll learn. It’s Migos Vocab, the group who just released the most fire mixtape of 2014.
But first, who/what the fuck is a Migos?
They’re an Atlanta-based hip-hop group that represent the best thing to happen to the city since Greg Maddux. They hopped on to the scene with “Versace”–-otherwise known as “that song with Drake in it”–also that song you swore you didn’t like until you listened to it on repeat for four straight days and mildly ruptured your eardrums. Mainly, they are slowly taking over the planet. Justin Bieber sought them out to reaffirm his “blackness” and President Obama uses their track list as his phone alarm in the morning (only one of those two things is true, but you’re genuinely not sure). The Migos, ladies and gents.
Here’s why you should be listening to them.
And, we’ll also tackle the age-old question: Are the Migos better than The Beatles? Trick question: yes, yes they are.
1. They’re humble and understated*
If you have a platform to let women know that you look awesome and have a stupid amount of money, you have to take advantage. It makes more sense to streamline the “acquiring hoes” process than to start from scratch every time you go out. Standard cost-effective analysis.
*Maybe I was lying a little. It’s the sub-woofers, guys.
2. Twitter is burning every object to the ground in honor of this joyous occasion
3. But You’ll need a Migos Vocabulary Lesson
“Finessing the plug” – negotiating (finessing) with your supplier (plug) to get a better deal on a product. In Migos’ case, this is weed. Lots of weed. But in our everyday lives there are plenty of opportunities for us to finesse the plug – for example: the lemonade stand, the Halal truck after the bar, buying a stainless steel refrigerator from Best Buy, etc.
“Bando” – an abandoned house; usually the trap house, where the magic (drugs) happens. While there are a myriad of negative connotations surrounding the bando, it can also be an excellent place to do some team-building. Think about it. These drugs aren’t going to make or sell themselves. Migos ain’t about that ropes course life.
“Quavo,” “Takeoff,” “Offset,” – The Migos. Three dudes. Quavo is Takeoff’s uncle and Offset is Quavo’s cousin. The fact that you need to create a Venn Diagram to fully understand the Migos experience truly says it all.
4.The Migos Flow
Start and stop rhyme triplets = the formula to making everything around you burst into flames. While the arguments will go on about who truly “invented” the flow, the Migos own it now.
Current power rankings for 2014:
3. Migos Flow
5. Are the Migos better than The Beatles?
Answered this earlier, but yes, duh. For starters, I haven’t seen The Beatles blessing us with any mixtapes over the last four decades. Weird, right? Also, how many times have The Beatles boarded up the bando when the look-out man saw sirens in the distance? Zero. I also don’t hear the Migos flow on “Hey Jude” so, for these reasons, this is case is closed.
Also, for reference:
They once beat a dude into the shape of a swastika doing the “Laffy Taffy” dance. Iconic doesn’t even begin to describe how important this moment was within the pantheon of musical history.
*Turns off sub-woofer and comes back to reality*