Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
Tom Brady would have fit right in with The Big Red Machine- PR
— Pete Rose (@PeteRose_14) October 6, 2014
He likes to bet on his own team too?
Watching The Strain, & have a general question: who maintains the lightbulbs that are always burning in forgotten underground movie tunnels?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 6, 2014
I have often wondered that myself.
Casino is on. Almost upset I flicked through the channels bc now I have to finish watching it.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) October 6, 2014
I hate it when that happens.
https://twitter.com/CourtneyStodden/status/519041482146070529
Insert your own joke here.
https://twitter.com/jaymohr37/status/519115747277418497
Some habits are harder to break than others.
https://twitter.com/danieltosh/status/519134166404046850
Solid plan.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/519135929647505408
This is true.
What was more embarrassing? The Angels getting wrecked by KC? UCLA punched in the face by Utah? Or USC not knowing how to defend hail mary?
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) October 6, 2014
Three-way tie (so none of them lose again).
I just ran 25 flights of stairs and pretended it was the communications tower in Metal Gear Solid the entire time.
— AJ Mendez (@TheAJMendez) October 6, 2014
Who hasn’t?
If the news gets any worse, the home page of Drudge Report is just going to be a giant skull on fire.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 6, 2014
You mean it isn’t already?
If you have sex with your boyfriend today tell him "Chad says he loves us" during mid stroke…
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) October 6, 2014
You feeling okay, Ocho?
Kiss my ass Adderall. Got me some RedZone Channel.
— Denis Leary (@denisleary) October 6, 2014
Damn straight.
Sometimes I think about getting a dog or a baby just so I have something to instagram.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) October 7, 2014
Go for the baby.
TO BE GREAT, YOU HAVE TO BE GREAT!
— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) October 7, 2014
That needs to be on a poster.
https://twitter.com/amandabynes/status/519429164341157888
She has spoken.
https://twitter.com/KattWilliams/status/519452650413117440
Hmmm…is that what that sound is?
I can't think of anything remotely interesting to tweet.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) October 7, 2014
Never stopped anyone else.
My favorite superhero TV show is still MAUDE.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 7, 2014
Loved the episode where she took down The Penguin.
When People Gossip There Pointing Out In You What They Don't Like IN Themselves.
— Jaden (@jaden) October 7, 2014
“They’re.”
Got my license renewed. Took 25 minutes. In my car, shaking, terrified.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 7, 2014
Visiting the DMV will do that to a guy.
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/519531782551506945
Seems like a good plan.
Just received my invitation to George Clooney’s wedding….
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 7, 2014
I’m sure it was supposed to get there earlier.
https://twitter.com/jaymohr37/status/519826597541842944
Hold on while I break my arm.
Every day is a gift; some gifts suck.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) October 8, 2014
More positivity.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/519889136682291200
So when are you having a baby, Chrissy?
Being awake is the hardest part of the day for me.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 8, 2014
It can be rough.
I have an anxiety attack every time I'm in a store and someone asks me "Can I help you find something?"
— Jordan Peele (@JordanPeele) October 8, 2014
I hate it when they do that.
https://twitter.com/wilw/status/519899754352766976
Fuck yes, indeed.
https://twitter.com/SethMacFarlane/status/519901526626942976
I love doing that.
NyQuil last night and Tylenol cold and flu this morning may not have been the best idea before flying. #ICantFeelMyFace
— Laura Vandervoort (@Vandiekins22) October 8, 2014
Trying that right now.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519905278674751488
Dude, you are so high.
https://twitter.com/louisck/status/519905355073990657
Alrighty then.
I'm either insanely hungover or 50 cobras bit my face last night. (Warner Theater tonight in D.C.)
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) October 8, 2014
Best promo of the week.
https://twitter.com/WhitneyCummings/status/519950157467881472
You mean they aren’t already?
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/520087757146701824
She’s kidding, right?
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/520088931719606274
It is tasty.
I enjoy Sade, but I'm sure she only sings one song.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) October 9, 2014
Pretty sure she’s right.
https://twitter.com/ArianaGrande/status/520191952986193920
I, uh, wut?
Being told "I know you can do this" weirdly makes me not want to try… "You CAN'T do this" has same effect. Ok, yeah, I might just be lazy.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) October 9, 2014
God love her.
Stop giving a flying shit about unseen limitations and just start doing the work you lackadaisical fuck.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) October 9, 2014
Well okay then!
https://twitter.com/WhitneyCummings/status/520452086907932672
This is 99% true.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/520478813860270081
That’s an odd favorite thing, but okay.
GOODNIGHT @justinbieber FUCK YOU TIMES 100000000000
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) October 9, 2014
Have a great weekend, everyone!