Former Playboy Playmate Pam Anderson Goes To Prison, But Just For A Weird Visit

The residents at the Maricopa County Jail in Arizona got a super special lunch lady on Wednesday. Pamela Anderson was dishing out succotash and various other non-meat foodstuffs to killers and rapists to promote Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s all-vegetarian meal program.

For 16 months now, the jail has been serving only vegetarian meals to the more than 8,000 inmates. The criminals are served a peanut butter sandwich with oranges and some crackers for brunch and a hot meal comprised of different vegetable and soy dishes for dinner. Brunches are so hot right now.

Arpaio claims that cutting meat from the menu has saved an estimated $200,000 per year. Not to mention that soy has properties similar to estrogen, which could help make the prisoners less violent, but whenever they are asked if anything is wrong they sadly turn away and mutter, “Nothing.”

Anderson was not necessarily there to help lower costs for tax payers or to cut the cholesterol levels for the prisoners, but rather because she is an advocate for PETA. And as we all know, meat is murder. And meat for murderers is even more murder-y.


FACT: My lunch lady never looked like this. I don’t care that Pam Anderson turns 48-years-old in July, when the former hottest woman on the planet strolls into your prison with a tight top, any hardened criminal is going to be awestruck. Oh how the prison floors must have been as sticky as flypaper later that evening.

Imagine that Pamela charms the entire prison population so much so that they actually riot to have vegan food? Some tatted up Latin Kings gang member kidnaps a correctional officer and threatens to slice his throat with a shank unless they change the prison menu to include healthier options like Baby Bok Choy & Tofu Ginger Stir Fry, Pepita Avocado Wild Mushroom Croquettes and Kale Quinoa with Balsamic Glaze.

I am quite impressed by the good behavior of the convicted criminals while Pamela was there. This is totally how I envisioned Pamela’s prison visit would end.