The Plot Of ‘Rocky 7’ Has Been Revealed And It Reeks Of Stallone-y Goodness

Creed. That is the name of the seventh installment of Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky franchise. Terrible name for the movie if you ask me. Why name the final movie (fingers crossed) of the franchise that made your entire career after a bum with a glass jaw who died in the ring?

Oh yeah, I’m standing by that statement. Creed was chump. Couldn’t beat a no name like Rocky, begged him for a rematch and then he got out classed by Rock again. Then, he had the audacity to die in the ring, which caused Rocky to think it was his fault for not throwing in the towel. Not to mention the pain in the fucking ass it had to be to get that blood stain out of Rocky’s Hugo Boss sweatshirt.

I’m just kidding, Creed was an OK guy. Didn’t have the eye of the tiger, per se, but he’s still light years better than cuntfart Tommy Gunn.

So why Creed? Well, because the movie is about Apollo Creed’s son, Adonis Johnson, who is an up-and-coming boxer in need of Rocky’s help. (And yes, even for Stallone, Adonis Johnson is one of the stupidest character names of all time. It’s no Lincoln Hawk, that’s for goddamn sure.) After a period of reluctance and reflection, Rocky finally caves and decides to train Adonis Creed. This is likely to fill that father-son void in his heart, because his own son is still the total shitbag we learned him to be in Rocky Balboa AKA Rocky 6. 

Here is the full synopsis: