Is ‘The Witch’ The Scariest Movie Trailer Of The Year? My Suddenly-Peed Pants Sure Seem To Think So

by 4 years ago

I thought Goodnight Mommy looked scarier, but maybe that’s just because exorcisms don’t really do it for me anymore. It’s like, cool, you’ve got a demon inside you – what are you gonna do about it? Get chained to a wall and splash water in my face? Oh wait yeah you did exactly that. Happy endings all around.

That’s not to say that The Witch is about exorcisms, but just that the trailer had some exorcist-lookin’ shit in it. As for the film’s plot, according to Indie Wire,

The film centers on Puritanical Christians William (Ralph Ineson) and Katherine (Kate Dickey), who haul their five children to an isolated patch of wilderness in the hopes of living out an idyllic existence. But the space has an eerie quality from the outset, and it doesn’t take long for creepy occurrences to endanger their cozy setup, particularly those revolving around their blonde teenage daughter (Anya Taylor-Joy).

Want a hot tip for avoiding ever becoming the subject of a horror movie? Don’t have kids. They’re little demons in themselves and are never any real use when it comes to staying alive. In fact, throw the little bastards under a bus if you have to – no really, I mean a literal bus. Survival of the fittest bitches, and that 8-year-old with a limp in his step ain’t gonna make it past the 15 minute mark if I’m around.

[H/T Indie Wire]

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