10 Reasons Why ‘Die Hard’ Is The Greatest Christmas Movie Ever
Throughout the history of cinema there have been some truly phenomenal Christmas movies. I’m talking about films like Elf, The Nightmare Before Christmas, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, It’s A Wonderful Life, and A Christmas Story. Each of these holiday classics are more than worthy of being viewed, preferably near a fireplace, on a yearly basis. Of course there have been some stinkers, too. For instance, there’s Ben Affleck’s Surviving Christmas…and Ben Affleck’s Reindeer Games. Yep, Affleck burned us twice. But let’s focus on the positives here, the good Christmas films, of which there have been many.
For my money, there’s one holiday movie that stands head and shoulders above the rest. No, it’s not Home Alone, though that is a bona fide yuletide classic. It’s not even Miracle on 34th Street. No, if you ask this guy, the greatest Christmas movie of all time is the inaugural film in the Die Hard franchise.
And here, friends, is why…
1. It’s All About Family
The bullets. The bombs. The copious amount of blood. At the end of the day, John McClane braves it all for the love of his family. At the heart of it, this movie is all about a man wanting to reclaim the love of his estranged wife, and his two kids, who are only shown in one crazy quick scene where they’re being watched by Paulina, the Latina maid. But it’s about them too, dammit! Family. That’s what it’s all about. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker
2. Hans Gruber > The Grinch
German terrorist Hans Gruber is a far more evil antagonist than The Grinch! There’s not even an argument, really. That furry green creep was just trying to steal Christmas. Gruber, on the other hand, was trying to steal $640 million dollars in bonds, as well as the lives of a large portion of the Nakatomi Company. The Grinch snatched presents and Christmas trees. Hans Gruber murdered several innocent partygoers, not to mention a large chunk of the Los LAPD. Any great movie, holiday-themed or otherwise, has high stakes. And in Die Hard, Hans Gruber drove those stakes through the roof. You’re a mean one, Mr. Gruber.
3. The Craziest Christmas Party Ever
Damn do those employees at the Nakatomi Company know how to party! Before Hans Gruber and his men seize control of the building, Holly McClane and her co-workers are going straight up HAM! Everyone’s loaded. Horny people are bursting into boardrooms looking to get it on. Stereotypical ‘80s douchebag Ellis is doing rails of cocaine. Most office Christmas parties are NOTHING like this! If anything, save for the cocaine part, the first 10 minutes of Die Hard should serve as a motivational tool for your Christmas party next year. You can do better! We can all do better! Next let’s do it Nakatomi style!