As the music world still remains numb from the self-imposed death of Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington, its natural to examine the lead up to the tragedy in hopes of finding a motive in the ambiguity. Finding clear cut answers when dealing with mental health is a fruitless endeavor, but scrutinizing Bennington’s public messages prior to his death may help us make more sense of just how dire the 41 year old’s situation was before his death.
In possibly one of his last interviews with Will Lavin, Bennington spoke candidly about his issues with depression, which were likely brought on by awful child abuse he endured as a child.
“I came to a point in my life where I was like, ‘I can either just give up and fucking die or I can fucking fight for what I want.’ And I chose to fight for what I wanted. I wanted to have good relationships. I wanted to love the people in my life. I wanted to enjoy my job.”
“I wanted to enjoy being a dad and having friends and just getting up in the morning. Because that was a struggle for me.”
Back in May, Bennington had this to say:
“I felt like the world was full of shit and everybody I knew was full of shit and life sucks and I was like ‘Fuck it.’ All that stuff it was just internal.”
The 41-year-old spoke openly about Linkin Park’s seventh studio album One More Light helped him emerge from the “darkest time” of his life, adding that it was the point that he “chose to fight for what I wanted,” Mirror reports.
“It was all really things I could work on if I chose to, and make myself happy,” he said. “You know? Make myself capable of dealing with life on life’s terms, like it’s not always going to be peaches and cream but it doesn’t always have to suck when it’s not.
“For me it took a lot of work. It actually took me opening up and talking to my friends about it and writing about it, and like going to therapy and battling my demons.”
Bennington claims that his derived strength to battle his demons through his wife and six children. Just weeks later, his demons got the best of him.