This German Knife From 1880 Has 100 Tools, A BUILT-IN GUN And Makes Your Swiss Army Knife Look Like A Do Nothing Bitch


Cool Material

If I were writing a movie about a deranged serial killer, THIS would be the character’s murder weapon of choice. He’d have 100-plus ways to kill someone and be hailed as the “Swiss Army Psycho.” He’d use a new tool for every murder, while leading a group of hapless detectives on a wild goose chase.

Shit. I think I just wrote the basic plot line to a fantastic fucking movie. Now, someone steal that idea and make the movie so I can sue you for intellectual property theft.

According to Cool Material:

Frequently described as “the Mother of all Swiss Army knives,” this nine inch long, three and a half inch wide and thick device was actually produced by the John S. Holler Company of Germany in the late 1800s. Among the hundred plus tools (yes, you read that right) you’ll find: .22 caliber, five-shot, pinfire revolver, scissors, dagger blades, button hook, two saws, auger, corkscrew, lancet, cigar cutter, tuning fork, straight razor, writing implements and even a mirror. The tortoiseshell handle even opens up to reveal two compartments with even tinier tools.

It’s NINE inches long and three and a half inches wide… Meaning, what’s not advertised in that write up is that when this gigantic knife is closed up, it can make one helluva lady pleaser. Boom. And now you have an idea for a dynamite porno to steal, too.