This Year’s $200K Oscars Gift Bag Includes A Gold-Plated Vape Pen, Bullet-Resistant Doors, A $10K Weed Chocolate Tasting, And More

Academy Awards Oscars gold statue

iStockphoto / RossHelen

Being a celebrity comes with A LOT of perks. You never wait in lines. You never need a reservation. You’re treated to an endless life of lavish parties, and you pretty much get everything in life for free despite already being wealthy. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

Probably the most famous example of celebrities having their cake and eating it too is the Oscars Gift Bag. Officially, the Oscars Swag Bag/Oscars Gift Bag has no affiliation with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences which is the ruling body of The Oscars. This was a huge point of contention back in 2016 when The Academy sued Distinctive Assets (who gives out the bags) for copyright infringement.

This year’s swag bag is estimated to contain over gifts whose value total more than $200,000. Just let that sink in for a minute. All these people have to do is show up and they’re given gifts valued at over $200,000. As a point of comparison, the median household income in America last year was around $63,000.

So what’s in this year’s bag? Well, there’s a gold-plated vape pen, a 12-day cruise valued at around $78,000, some futuristic headband that tests your brainwaves while meditating so it can inform you if your thoughts start to wander too far.

Let’s take a look at some of the items in this year’s Oscars Swag Bag from Distinctive Assets. This isn’t a complete look at every gift but I’ve tried to include most of the badass gifts that have been made publicly available:

$349: The Muse S Headband which detects your brainwaves while meditating. If it senses too many thoughts it will play stormy weather sounds but if the person continues to meditate peacefully they are treated to calm sounds.

— A vacation to stay inside Faro Cumplida which is a gorgeous 19th-century lighthouse on the Canary island of La Palma, a municipality of Spain.

— A 12-day Scenic Eclipse cruise which is valued at $78,190. The luxury mega yacht has butler service and eight restaurants aboard.

— A $10,000 certificate for a private Coda Signature cannabis-infused chocolate tasting.

— Peezy Midstream which is some pretty far out there urine testing kit that is supposed to improve the accuracy of testing for infections. They’ll be able to pair this with a $499 genetic testing kit that matches DNA to medication to see if people are receiving the right meds.

— The Hollowtips gold-plated vape pen serves up ‘THC water clear distillate’ and purports to offer the most refined version of THC available.

— Remo security will build bullet-resistant doors for people receiving a gift bag because who doesn’t need a bullet-resistant door in 2020, am I right??

— A 5-night stay at the Waikiki Beachcomber by Outrigger, a gorgeous hotel in Hawaii.

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— Hotsy Totsy Haus will provide gift bag holders with a 24 karat gold bath bomb because why not?

— Simple syrup from CBD Barkeep for making cocktails.

— A TempSure Envi treatment which is supposed to tighten the skin

— A silk kimono robe from Soma

— A 1-year matchmaking membership to some elite service in Britain called Drawing Down the Moon

— Pillows

— A private phone consultation with British life coach Jessica McGregor Johnson

— Crystal earrings

— Some hippie candles from Moody

— The Exploding Kittens card game

— Artwork

— Prospero’s Tequila Blanco

— A. Junod Absinthe

— ‘My Flight Pack’ travel hydrating pack

— Cleansers from The Right to Shower

— ‘Daybreaker’ tickets, the multi-city morning yoga + dance party

— Old Spice deodorant!!!!

— A luxurious car fragrance kit

— ProLon’s 5-day meal plan

— A wellness/yoga retreat in Malibu

— All sorts of jewelry, makeup, and clothing gifts

— Hydrogen-infused water (why though?)

— Stained glass portraits

— French macarons from Florian Bellanger

— Some sunglasses from PETA….

— Aromatherapy

— Blisslights Sky Lite projector

— CBD hemp balm, books, candles, and more ‘wellness’ type gifts that I don’t really care enough to list here.

Life is pretty fucking good when you’re a celebrity, isn’t it?

If you want to see what was included in the 2019 Oscars Gift Bag you can click here to see last year’s haul.

The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.