Each and every week on Monday Night Raw, thousands of t-shirts celebrating WWE wrestlers of both the past and present can be seen amongst the crowd. Most of the time, those shirts are often ones you’ve definitely seen before, over and over, and were probably purchased upon entry into the arena because the WWE swims in a raging river of money. Everyone knows that.
We also know that, no matter what it is, repetition gets old. And that’s exactly why I’ve put together this eclectic collection of must-have WWE t-shirts.
Enjoy the enjoyment.
Scott Hall – “Hey Yo”
Scott Hall aka Razor Ramon, or vice versa, is without a doubt one of the most beloved wresting villains of all time, and rightfully so. Thanks to his hilarious “spooky fingers” routine to the signature double finger point to his absurd “come fight me” stance, Hall has has been etched in our minds until the end of time. But none of those things stick out quite like the simple, yet endlessly eloquent “Hey Yo.”
That memorable saying to go along with Hall’s many cartoonish characteristics, including the greasy hair curl dangling down the center of his forehead, makes for the best t-shirt of “The Bady Guy” I’ve come across. And that’s because the designer went the likeness route rather than choosing to incorporate an actual photo of Hall, like this. That approach rarely, if ever, works.
Now, to refresh your memory, I’m happy to say that some shining soul took the time to put together a delightful compilation of “Hey Yo’s” featuring a well orchestrated, dramatically delayed “Hey Yo” at the 21-second mark.
The Rock – “Rock and Roll”
Somehow, someway the number of great Rock t-shirts available for sale out there are severely lacking. Unless you’re satisfied with enormous white copy on a black shirt that says ‘JUST BRING IT‘ or ‘TEAM BRING IT’, you might find yourselves a little disappointed. Because there’s nothing new or interesting about that, nor is a graphic of a Brahma Bull. But there are some great ones, like this:
Simple, effective, and more importantly an awesome departure from the typical stuff we’ve become so accustomed to. Still, it’s a little perplexing to know that after all the exercise The Rock put his talented, lively right eyebrow through, these mediocre shirts are the only ones available that even remotely remotely pay homage to it? That ain’t right.
Get to work, WWE Store. And make it snappy.
Macho Man Randy Savage – “Cream Of The Crop”
Does everyone remember Randy Savage’s legendary interview with Mean Gene where he used multiple coffee creamers to convey the all-important message that he was, in fact, the cream of the crop? Even if you do, let’s dive into a quick refresher in an effort to properly introduce this divine t-shirt.
Any interview that began with Savage proclaiming that “nothing means nothing” was destined to be a timeless gem. And yes sir, Randy arrived to this meaningful chat equipped with multiple coffee creamers to visually drive home the fact that he was the cream of the crop. It just so happened that he was right.
The only sad part is that there’s no behind-the-scenes footage of Savage pitching the inventive creamer concept to Vince McMahon.
Since it is the widely beloved Mach Man we’re discussing — there’s a good chance your dad is even a Savage fan — I feel the need to make two t-shirt suggestions, especially since the following design honors his magnetic presence so uniquely.
A Randy Savage shirt featuring a Macho Man head made entirely of “Oh Yeahs”? I’ll take a dozen.
Andre the Giant – “Whole World In His Hands”
It only makes sense for the 8th Wonder of the World to proudly hold said world above his head much like an emotional Dikembe Mutombo once grasped a basketball like it actually WAS planet Earth. Simply put, if you’re going to own one wrestling-related t-shirt, it should probably be one that celebrates Andre the Giant. They’ll be talking about this guy on Monday Night Raw in the year 3057, when Vince McMahon XVIII is running the show.
Oh, and this Andre tee is also pretty badass. Can’t go wrong with either one.
Ric Flair – “Space Mountain”
Does this one really need an explanation? I know, I know. It doesn’t. But, I must say, this footage is always worth revisiting:
Special Instructions: If someone ever stops you on the street and asks if you got this shirt at Disney World, immediately put them in the figure four while continuously shouting Woooooooooooooo! They’ll eventually — hopefully? — put two and two together.
UPDATE: Just came across this beauty and MY OH MY, I think there’s a tear in my eye.
A robe sewn together through the aid of one of Flair’s most famous expressions? Woooo!
Shawn Michaels – “Show Stopper”
Shawn Michaels is a charismatic legend who sports approximately 10 nicknames, but this shirt takes it up a notch because it intertwines “Show Stopper and “The Heartbreak Kid,” as well as the year he broke into the business. But if you insist on stale crap, buy something like this, or opt for the Mr. WrestleMania shirt. Yeah, it’s a great nickname, but … NO.
Stone Cold Steve Austin – “What?”
Another no-brainer built off the same design concept as the Scott Hall shirt.
When something so simple also doubles as genius, you know you’ve struck gold. And that’s exactly what the hilarious birth of “What?” became. To no surprise, the “What” chants are still alive and quite well.
Hulk Hogan – “The Incredible Hogan”
Of all the wrestlers to have the most random, amazing, outside the box t-shirt, it’s Hulk Hogan? He would’ve been dead last on my list for that award, yet here we are with Andre and The Undertaker looking up in awe. I seriously might need to buy this. Like, now.
Mean Gene, Rick Rude & The Junkyard Dog
This is pretty simple: There was only one Mean Gene, one Junkyard Dog, and one “Ravishing” Rick Rude, so there’s really no wrong way to go with any of these captivating options, as the art is as unmistakeable as their personalities. If I had to choose just one of these, I’m inclined to lean toward “Gene Mean,” mostly because the graphic of choice serves as great symbolism for a man who somehow managed to keep a straight face while conducting hundreds upon hundreds of absurd, highly amusing interviews with some of the world’s most cartoonish humans.
Sadly, the Ric Flair version is no longer available.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts – “How To DDT”
One of the greatest finishing moves of all time sponsored by “Stone Mountain Airlines”? Phenomenal touch. And if you look close enough, Jake’s devoted snake Damien also got a subtle nod. It would’ve been criminal if he hadn’t.*****
The Road Warriors
The Road Warriors, one of the most storied tag teams of all time, were basically responsible for the face paint revolution in professional wrestling. If that weren’t enough — and it clearly was not — they also wore spiked football pads to reinforce the fear. Plainly put, you don’t have to like wrestling to enjoy this shirt.
Thanks to their creativity, The Road Warriors can take a chunk of credit for what Sting and The Ultimate Warrior would later take to new heights, as well as what would eventually become the everyday look for most Oakland Raider fans.
CM Punk – “The Pipe Bomb”
This graphic brings back fond memories CM Punk during the peak of his run, where he would say whatever the hell he wanted in such ruthless, prolonged fashion. The day he asked Vince McMahon to bring back WWF ice cream bars was the day he won my heart forever.
The Undertaker – “21 & What?”
The Undertaker is the type of character that lends itself to some unbelievably awful t-shirts, so unless you’re still horrified that he actually lost a scripted ‘rasslin match at WrestleMania XXX, this right here is the perfect way of celebrating just how REAL wrestling felt for a moment.
HOWEVER, for those of you who truly do live for The Dead Man, there’s also this awesome caricature of ‘Taker, which — based on the price listing — appropriately gets shipped from parts unknown:
The Beards Guide To Wrestling
The murderer’s row of wrestling facial hair is the absolute perfect “I can’t make up my mind” t-shirt. Hogan, Savage, Sheik, Hacksaw, Razor … need I go on? Christ, any shirt featuring the great Mr. Fuji is a must have game-changer.
Kevin Nash – “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”
Probably the most creative way one could possibly celebrate all of Kevin Nash’s great (and awful) in-ring characters on one shirt. Yes, even the tragic “Oz” made the cut. There’s a damn good reason his back is turned.
Much like Daniel Bryan, this is very straightforward and comes with limited words: Respect. The. Beard.
YES! YES! YES!
Sting – “The Stinger”
The many faces of “Surfer Sting” shirt is pretty outstanding on its own, but throwing in “Crow Sting” at the end would have been sublime.
Vincent Kennedy McMahon – “Blame Vince”
For wrestling fans who hate every single storyline but haven’t missed an episode of RAW since 1999, don’t blame yourselves, Blame Vince. Just don’t forget to tweet about it using Vince’s handle. He definitely gives a shit.
Chris Jericho – “Monday Night Jericho”
Remember WCW Monday Nitro? For as bad as it got before Vince finally gobbled it up, the company did experience a historic run that basically changed wrestling forever. So it’s more than acceptable to acknowledge that it once existed, but owning a shirt that actually says “WCW Monday Nitro” would be way too bland and thus, quite lame. The best shirt to simultaneously both honor and mock the good old days would be the classic seen above for all those Jerichoholics out there.
My GOD, yes, Paul Bearer! This might be the most important t-shirt discovery in recent memory. Ooooooh yeeeeeees!
It’s important to note that the following t-shirt was a very, very close 2nd place in the Scott Hall category.
Having said that, it was impossible to choose anything over the “Hey Yo” comic book villain masterpiece, which incidentally does come with the proper faded graphic look, because I happen to own one myself:
Say hi to the bad guy, indeed.