There’s few things that are worse than looking at your phone after a night of drinking and realizing you’ve sent a bunch of absolutely humiliating texts to people that you definitely should not have been texting.
In a recent Reddit thread, guys revealed the most embarrassing drunk text they’ve ever sent, so read on and realize you aren’t alone in your stupidity.
Also next time, leave your phone in your pocket.
I once spent a long drunk night declaring my undying love via text message to my friend Marcus, who was alphabetically right next to my girlfriend Molly in my contacts list. I just remember getting really angry and confused that she was acting all weird and sending messages like “dude, you know this is Marcus right?”
I once told a girl I had a thing for that I wanted to get her boyfriend pregnant. Drunk me thought that this would make her jealous.
As an added bonus, she was with her boyfriend at the time, and I ended up calling and talking to them. I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I remember really running with this idea, a la “Our babies would be beautiful, Bobby, think about it. I should get you pregnant.”
One time I replied to a text with “nah man I’m in bed trying to get some D” I meant to say sleep, but for some reason I only typed 1 letter and must have accidentally hit D since it’s right next to S.
Was still in that innocent “text flirting” stage with a girl.
Texted her at 1AM saying (All spelled wrong of course):“I wish there was a text symbol that lets you know I want you to come over and suck my dick, but then leave afterwards so I don’t need to talk to you.”
Told my ex I still loved her (I did) and she needed to move in with me where I was stationed and we would get married. Then drunk me thought it’d be a good idea to delete said text. She showed up at my house three weeks later with a trunk and a car full of stuff.
“Not enough beer in the world.” Intended for the person who had set me up on a blind date. Sent instead to my blind date. Awkwardness ensued.
“M” If you have time to get a hand job in the praking lot of Friendlys then you have time to pick up that blow for “l” and I. so get on it motherfucker! No excuses!”
I sent this to my mother.
Just started seeing this girl and was at a bar with my friends when I whipped out my phone and tried to tell her that I wished she was there with us that night. I sent “Wish you were her.”
My dick is yearning to break out of its denim prison.
I uploaded a super zoomed in pic of my asshole to FB. Good times good times…
I accidentally sent “All I want this very moment is some remy and a big booty hoe that will pole vault on my loins” to my mom.
I never received a response, and she didn’t talk about it in person.
I sent a text to a girl I worked with at the time, confessing my love to her and then asking her to take a shit on my chest. After realizing what I had actually done, I sent another message apologizing and asking her to ignore the other.
Meant to text a girl named Molly. Texted my mom saying to come over. Not bad but keep in mind I’m in college 6 hours away. I woke up and saw I texted my mom. Tried to stop her but she was less than 2 hours away. She came in such a hurry she didn’t book a hotel room so she stayed in my dorm room for the night with me and my roommate.
I told my dad he “looked great in that dress earlier.”
Naturally, I can’t remember texts I sent while drunk. But my best received from a drunk person?
“Up tree send help no shoe.”