As I’m sure not a single BroBible reader noticed, but I was just gone for a few weeks and not clogging up your Facebook Newsfeed full of picture galleries and videos of dogs. I was out because I got married on January 3rd and then took off for my honeymoon, as is typical of most newlyweds.
To take a quick step back though, one of the things people told me over and over and over before the wedding was ‘just take it all in, because it’ll be over in a flash.’ Which while I understood that to be true, I still thought I’d get to actually experience more of my wedding than I did. Like, I thought I’d be privy to anything and everything that took place. Whether it’s the chick who threw up in the bathroom (still don’t know who that was), or taking a full week to find out that my new 7-year-old nephew sent the smoothest text EVER in an attempt to pick up one of the bridesmaids.
Not only is he my new nephew and a Ladies Man in the making, but he was also our ring bearer at the wedding and therefore he was able to get in a lot of face time with the bridesmaids. But, needless to say, we were all pretty damn shocked to find out that he had the stones at 7-years-old to actually ask one of the bridesmaids (who lives with her boyfriend) for her phone number, and then fire off the smoothest text ever sent (by a 7-year-old).
HOLY SHIT how have I gone through nearly 15 years of drinking in my life and NEVER thought of the word ‘ouchahall’ when it comes to hangovers…yet my 7-year-old nephew comes to it like some sort of texting savant?!???
And not only was this the smoothest text ever sent by a 7-year-old, but it was actually the FIRST text ever sent to anyone other than his mom or dad (as confirmed by his parents)….So does he just give up here? How can he ever again strike gold the way he did with his first?
Well, as it turns out from the text below sent from his mother to my new wife, the lil bro in my family might be more into dancing than smooth talking…which I’m totally okay with for someone who’s only 7-years-old.
UPDATE: Here he is ‘free styling’ on the dance floor, for all you who were wondering just what constituted his freestyle…