Breaking up is hard to do. Unless she’s an awful, awful woman.
Then it’s pretty damn easy.
Some women just deserve to get their ass dumped. (Many guys deserve it too but this post is about the ladies.) I’m talking about the cheaters, the ego-beaters, credit card takers and women that give other girls an awful name. This article has those women in mind.
Breaking up with an awful woman isn’t much fun if it’s over the phone or in a text. It’s got to be memorable. Why not do it somewhere she’d never expect it — the most romantic spots on Earth.
She thinks it’s “couple time” but it’s really going to be “alone time.” Here’s eight incredibly romantic spots — and the best way to dump her for good.
New York, New York
Overlooking Central Park, the Iris & B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden is a 10,000-square-foot terrace atop the Met. The views of the city are gorgeous, and you can point out to the neighboring buildings and say “I’m positive there are countless men out there willing to settle for you being an incredibly terrible lay.”
San Francisco, CA
The city is ideal for couples. It’s filled with bustling neighborhoods, eclectic shops and amazing museums, and Alcatraz prison. A guided tour of the former home of some of the world’s most dangerous criminals is a perfect spot to tell her you’re through and Alcatraz isn’t anything compared to the prison you’ve been locked in during your relationship. Her stares will be as cold as the San Francisco Bay. BBBBBBRRRRRR. Bring a warm slicker!
Savannah is a Southern city with a ton of personality. Hundreds of historic homes line the streets. Take a stroll hand in hand, stop in front of the nicest house, and softly tell her “some day I’ll live in a house like this and I’ll make sure my wife sends you a postcard.” Hey y’all, anyone know where this here girl can find a bus stop!
For the winter wipe out of a relationship, Aspen is perfect for skiing, snowboarding and huddling in front of a warm fire to let your lady know you’d rather jump in the roaring flames face-first than sit next to her on the flight home.
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
With 40 miles of seashore, there’s plenty of space to take your girl on that long walk on the beach to tell her “How much do I hate you? Every speck of sand on this beach times like a bajallion. Yes. Bajillion.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Alright, it doesn’t exactly scream ROMANCE but the buildup to the weekend and all the fun the two of you will have is enough to complete crush her when she realizes she’s been dumped on top of a building made to look like an Eiffel Tower. If you’ve got the cash, you could take her to the ACTUAL Eiffel tower but that would seriously be a dick move.
Napa Valley, California
In need of a little pampering, a glass of wine, and hundreds of miles of vineyards to hide because she’s chasing you for a broken bottle? There’s no better place to dump a girl than Napa Valley. Famous for its many wineries, you could drink to remember or forget all of the bad times you’ve had together.
Beaufort, North Carolina
One of the oldest towns in North Carolina — its origins date back to 1709 — the Inner Banks village has a boardwalk, gorgeous old homes turned into bed and breakfast spots and an A-list pirate past. Allegedly, Blackbeard the pirate hung out in the town. In the moments just before tearing her heart to shreds, yell out loud “Thare she blows! No literally, she blows! She’s an awful person.”