100 Year-Old Woman Celebrated Finishing A 100 Meter Dash By Doing Push-Ups While The Rest Of Us Sat Around Wasting Our Youth

Apparently, youth is one of those things wasted on the young. I think this is kind of a bold statement because the reason most people feel like such piles of garbage once they reach old age is because they burned the candle at both ends so often when they were younger. Really, I think the saying should be amended to something like “if you don’t feel old when you retire, you were a loser in high school”. However, there is something endearing about living long, healthy lives without having to spend your final days confined to a wheelchair and shitting in a bag.

Enter Ida Keeling. From just this video, I consider Ida a variable to my above claims. Anyone who celebrates cracking into triple digits by running a 100 meter dash and doing pushups was easily a party-fiend in her youth. Remember, this woman lived through both the abolition of Prohibition and the conclusion of World War II. Chick partied, no way around it.

As much fun as I can poke at old people, this video makes me feel like absolute garbage. We have 100 year-old Ida running 100 meter dashes and doing more pushups than I’ve done in the past month while I’m alternating between typing these words and eating out stale Easter candy out of a bowl that I found under my couch yesterday. If Ida doesn’t light a fire under your ass then you’re already a lost cause. So don’t be a lost cause, be like Ida.