300: Rise Of The Manatee—Army Of Sea Cows Invade Springs In Florida, Ousting All Humans

The Three Sisters Springs on Crystal River, Florida was caught unawares on Monday when a swarm of 300 manatees (Order: Sirenia, Family: Trichechidae). If you grew up in Florida and/or are obsessed with manatees like myself, you’d know that Crystal River is world renowned as a safe haven for manatees.

The calm waters and relatively stable temperatures caused by the springs make for a perfect ecosystem for manatees looking to escape the tumult of the Gulf of Mexico. And as you all know, the only natural predator of the manatee are human beings. Racing around Florida waters with our boats, chopping them up with the props from our engines, manatees look to Crystal River’s springs as a respite from humanity.

But RARELY do the manatees ever show up as swiftly and in such large numbers as they did this week.

CBS 10 News is reporting on the VERY bizarre pilgrimage of manatees:

As tides began to rise around noon, the manatees started to swim into the springs. During a manatee count conducted today by the manatee watch volunteers, a total of 293 manatees had moved into the interior of the springs by 1:00 p.m. By 1:30 p.m. the manatee count in the interior of the springs had surpassed 300 total manatees and The US Fish and Wildlife issued the temporary closure of Three Sisters Springs.

Although a cold front is expected to arrive for some areas on Monday night, the USFWS will make further determinations by Tuesday morning at sunrise – since tides are expected to drop during morning hours to an extreme low by 10:44 a.m. If manatee activity is high during the low tides on Tuesday morning, the springs will remain closed.

That’s right, so many manatees showed up at once that human beings got kickedthefuckout of the river. We’re getting kicked out of rivers due to animals that poop so much they’ve been known to close down beaches!

The UK’s MAIL Online adds to the story:

Is this the result of the ‘Climate Change’ currently being denied by our nation’s Congress? Or is the current cold front in Florida merely a fluke? I spoke to a family member who lives down in Florida the very morning this all took place (Monday), and they lamented how they had to wear a scarf and sweater to go outside (which is complete bullshit btw, it was like 65 degrees), so maybe everyone’s feeling it?

For now I just need you to do one thing. Imagine an isolated cove on a river, where THREE HUNDRED of these creatures have gathered together. Look at how much ass they rip (around the 1-minute mark), and imagine 300 manatees all farting in unison and imagine what that would do for a freshwater ecosystem:

For more manatee related content you can check out the article below:

Helpless Dog Falls In River And Is Trapped Overnight, Friendly Manatee Stays By His Side