New Jersey 5th Grader Suspended For Having Nerf Gun Bullet In His Pocket Because Nothing Is Sacred Anymore

Remember when we were that young? Suspensions were a big fucking deal. Like if you got suspended, you were definitely wearing a Billabong sweatshirt and drinking a Monster energy drink and have done some shit. Like write “cunt” on the bathroom stall walls or smoke a cigarette in the janitor closet. Suspensions were created for the outcasts, not the masses.

I remember in second grade a dude named Diego put a tack on the substitute teachers chair. A fucking sharp tac. Just because. The teacher noticed it, sent Diego to the principals office, but he was present in class the next day, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The substitute teacher never returned.

But times change and America continues to pussify, so I shouldn’t have been all that surprised when I learned that an Atlantic City 5th grader was suspended for pulling a nerf bullet out of his pocket.

Aarin Moody reached into his pocket to retrieve a late note from his mother and a nerf “bullet” fell out. You know, the ones that wouldn’t hurt you even if they were shot out of a cannon.

According to Fox News, officials at Uptown Complex categorized that foam dart as a “self-constructed weapon” because it had a toothpick stuck in it. Aarin reportedly put the toothpicks in the bullets so they would stick to the ground when he fired them from his nerf gun. Fucking genius if you ask me.

The child said,

“They want me to like say that I did it on purpose, [that] I put it in my pocket to hurt someone.”

Squids. Don’t cave, young man.

The school originally told Aarin’s mother that he would be EXPELLED, citing the school’s weapons policy: “Anything readily capable of lethal use or inflicting serious bodily injury.”

Aaron’s mother claims her son suffers from ADHD and anger management issues and believes her son’s suspension was the results of a complaint she filed against the board claiming harassment from a supervisor during her time as a substitute custodian in the district.


Shameful. I’m no expert on children, but something tells me that isolating a kid who struggles with behavior problems over something so trivial, will only enhance his resentment and give him a reason to really act up. But in today’s society, educating a child on what’s right and wrong is too exhausting. It’s much easier to just send him out of your sight for a couple weeks and have someone else deal with him.

Tough day to be an American.

[H/T Breitbart]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.