If You Have No Interest In Watching These Adorable Bear Cubs Wrestle, Then I Have No Room For You At My Lunch Table

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Good FUCKING God, Bro. You feel that cuteness? Should be a warm tingling feeling right in your chestal region. It should cause you to exclaim out loud in an uncharacteristically high-pitched voice. It should make you want to adopt these fuckers and throw them in the chest pocket of your shirt and try to pull tail at the park by telling chicks you saved them from a broken home or some shit. There’s also a part of you that probably wants to put velcro vests on these little bastards and hum them against a carpeted wall to see what positions they stick in. That’s a completely common reaction. You are not alone.

This video, although the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, is a sad reminder that no good things last. One minute you have two edible bear cubs playfully wrasslin’ on the street, the next minute they’re choking the life out of a human being for sport. Reason 1,920,453 that I have trust issues.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.