Campaign To Get America’s Most Patriotic Prostitute Onto The $10 Bill Is Heating Up!
Ever since it was announced earlier this month that an iconic American woman would be replacing Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill it seems like nearly every woman’s name you can think of has been tossed into the hat for consideration. But there is one woman that towers above the rest in terms of reputation and prestige, and that woman is ‘Air Force Amy’ of the infamous Moonlite Bunny Ranch. She served for 6 years in the United States Air Force, protecting our freedom and liberty both domestic and abroad, and ever since then she’s been servicing dudes in the Nevada desert at the world’s most famous brothel. If the name ‘Air Force Amy’ sounds familiar it’s because you once watched her on HBO’s Cathouse, the late-night reality show following the biggest talent at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch.
Amy thinks she has what it takes to convince the Treasure Department that she’s the iconic American woman they’re looking for to replace Alexander Hamilton, and she’s released a powerful statement on why Treasury Secretary Jack Lew should choose her. Here’s the statement from Air Force Amy’s website / PRNewswire:
“The Treasury Department has said that they want the honoree to be a symbol of democracy and women’s equality,” said Air Force Amy, named for her time of military service. “In the Air Force I served this country and fought for her freedom, and as a courtesan, I have elevated women’s power within the business to the level of six figure incomes and the ability to control their own destinies.”
The $10 bill currently pictures Alexander Hamilton, the first U.S. Treasury secretary who was killed in an 1804 duel with vice president Aaron Burr. The woman chosen for the redesigned bill may actually be featured alongside Burr, and Air Force Amy believes that fact bolsters her case. “I’ve dueled with many of the girls at the Bunny Ranch. They’re gone, and I’m still here. If Alexander Hamilton had me with him back in 1804, it would’ve been Burr who didn’t survive.”
The bill will feature a tactile design for the visually impaired, and Amy points out that she’s been “rubbed on” more than any other candidate. She boasts that any of her clients who have felt her touch will surely remember it when they “stroke her currency.”
While the Treasury Department makes the final decision, they are seeking input from the public through a website and social media. Air Force Amy knows she has public sentiment on her side, but the legal requirement for the honoree to be deceased might stop her ambition short. Amy has a retort for that too. “This bill isn’t getting minted until 2020, and I may not make it that long. Go ahead and plan for me, and if I’m still around we’ll give it to a secondary choice who’s not.”
She might not make it until 2020? What sort of damage does prostitution do to a woman’s body that she thinks she might not live another 5 years?! She seemed like a spring chicken back on HBO’s Cathouse! And while I’ve never been to the infamous Moonlite Bunny Ranch myself to confirm her youth and vitality, I can’t help but think maybe this is just a gigantic PR stunt.
But so what if it is?! She’s just as qualified to appear on the $10 bill, right? She’s an USAF veteran who continues to service servicemen, does it get any better than that? This is how I imagine the new $10 bill looking with Air Force Amy gracing the face of the currency: