Today in the Best News Ever, Alcohol Boosts Your Immune System

A team of researchers from Oregon Health & Science University trained 12 rhesus macaques—chosen for the similarity between their immune system and ours—to drink a 4 percent ethanol cocktail. They vaccinated the monkeys against small pox and divided them into two groups: one that had access to the cocktails and one to sugar water. (Both groups were also given food and regular water.)

I feel like that should be illegal. Let's get these monkeys drunk and give them smallpox. Science, you crazy. But the results are promising for alcoholics. 

The moderate drinkers… demonstrated an enhanced immune response—better even than the teetotaling control group. The researchers can't yet fully explain the results, but one possible explanation is that modest amounts of alcohol stimulate the immune system.

You're damn right. So the next time you get the sniffles, JAGER. But don't get too crazy. The heavy monkey drinkers were worse for the wear.  

[Whiskey via Shutterstock]