Student loans are a total bitch (which I wouldn’t know because my Daddy pays ALLLLL my bills <3 <3 <3) which is the only reason I can assume Sarah Elizabeth Furay, 19, allegedly decided that dealing drugs out of her College Station apartment would be a good idea. Well, maybe it wasn’t the loans (for all we know she isn’t even a student) – maybe she watched a few too many episodes of Breaking Bad and got hopped up on the idea of making millions without ever having to go to class again. Whatever her reasoning, girl was rollin’ in a literal shitload of drugs. I’m impressed by the list, even if it’s probably making her parents cry:
College Station Police went to Furay’s apartment with a search warrant and found five different types of drugs, packaging material, two digital scales and a handwritten drug price list in her bedroom.
According to the probable cause statement, officers found 31.5 grams of packaged cocaine, 126 grams of high grade marijuana, 29 “ecstasy” tablets, methamphetamine and a 60 doses of a drug similar to LSD.
Police say that Furay admitted to having marijuana and cocaine in her bedroom, but a search of her cell phone also showed that she was selling cocaine, “acid,” marijuana and other drugs as well.(via)
Imagine showing up to your friendly neighborhood ecstasy dealer and having them look like Sarah instead of this:
No joke I’d pay some inflated prices if I didn’t have to deal with a 350-pound hairy man who tries to get me to linger around and keep him company. Thanks but no thanks dude, I’d rather butt chug a hamster than chill out in your janky-ass apartment all day.
In other words, someone tell Sarah to hit me up if/when she gets out – I’m running low on bud.
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[H/T KCEN-TV]