Americans Are Really Feeling Deez Nuts For President, Already Polling At 8% In Minnesota


BUlls Balls

Two weeks back, I brought you the news that Deez Nuts had been entered in the 2016 presidential election. At the time, I declared him the third-most viable candidate in the whole field.

I wasn’t joking. I’d much rather have Deez Nuts in the Oval Office than the full of shit slop that’s criss-crossing the country now, pandering and posturing. Deez Nuts is the only one who hasn’t embarrassed himself in the run up to the primaries.

At least we know Deez Nuts isn’t full of shit. Nah. Deez Nuts is full of come. And he’s coming right for the White House.


Hell yes, Deez Nuts. Now lets ride that momentum and let it swell and swell and swell until it’s absolutely ready to explode on the American electorate.

They’ll love that. Here’s the full explanation of the data, from Public Policy Polling.

‘Deez Nuts’ filed as an independent candidate for President recently so for the sake of entertainment we tested him(?) as a candidate in a three way contest with Clinton and Trump. Deez Nuts haven’t had much exposure to the American public- 89% say they have no opinion about them either way. Among those few who are familiar with Deez Nuts, only 3% rate them favorably to 8% who have an unfavorable opinion. Nevertheless 8% say they would support Deez Nuts for President, to 41% for Hillary Clinton and 36% for Donald Trump. When you look at how supporters of Deez Nuts split in a head to head between Clinton and Trump 25% are for Clinton, 15% are for Trump, and 60% are undecided. So Deez Nuts are largely providing an outlet for voters to express their frustration with the other candidates.

Deez Nuts can take it. Deez Nuts wants your frustration.