Ancient People Were Stupid, Tried To Cure Hangovers By Tying Leaves Around Their Necks

Look at the dumb fuck up there. Doesn’t even know how clothes work. Wear some pants, son. Would you listen to anything he says? Fuck no. He probably thinks the girl you are seeing isn’t texting back because you’ve yet to appease the Sun God Ra.

Fuck that dude. He’s an idiot. Talking all in hieroglyphics. That must sound so stupid coming out of his mouth.

“Hi Bird Standing Man With Arms Bent Eyeball Food Truck Cat.”

You wouldn’t even be able to understand him, since he’d be saying it all in Egyptian. Never learned English, smdh.

So would you trust his cure for a hangover? You shouldn’t, because he didn’t know the word for ‘cure’ because his ‘cure’ consisted of tying the leaves of a bush around his neck.

At least, that’s what they did back in Ancient Egypt, where he’s from. The solution to a “drunken headache” was recently translated from documents found in Oxyrhynchus, Egypt and are almost 2,000 years old. They prove ancient people were unintelligent fucks. From Gizmodo:

It describes that the sufferer should string together the leaves of a shrub called Alexandrian chamaedaphne—often claimed at the time to ease headaches—and then possibly wear the result around their neck. It’s not clear how effective the cure was.

I’ll tell you how effective it was. Probably ain’t do shit. If it worked, we wouldn’t have invented Pepto and Tylenol. Why would we waste time making that shit if a genius back in 0 AD had figured it all out? Ancient Egyptian hangover cure my ass. More like Ancient Egyptian make you look like an idiot.

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