Is The Government Aware An Asteroid Will Hit In September And Secretly Prepping For The Apocalypse?

Is the United States government (as well as other prominent nations) aware of an asteroid that is hurtling through space toward our planet, poised to impact sometime in late September, forever altering the course of humanity and possibly bringing about a post-apocalyptic hell?

Look, I love a good conspiracy theory. If you told me that John F. Kennedy was still alive, with the CIA having shot a clone because, while they wanted him out of power, they didn’t want to actually kill him, I would listen.

Is he in a CIA prison? Aruba? Did they fake Marilyn Monroe’s death too so the two of them could fuck in the safe house? Does a president have that kind of pull after he’s been Erased?

Tell me more.

But the theory that’s gaining mainstream recognition that the world’s governments are aware of impending doom and secretly prepping for that scenario are… a little thin. From The Mirror:

Conspiracy theorists are claiming a controversial US military exercise is in fact preparation for an asteroid that could wipe out mankind.

Next month a huge military exercise called Jade Helm will take place across multiple US states with 1,200 troops participating – but details of its purpose are scarce.

One blogger on the Whistleblower800 website claimed to have cracked the reason for the Jade Helm exercise.

The author suggested Jade Helm was an “insurance policy” in case an asteroid hit and riots broke out.

Ooooh word? That’s good post-apocalyptic planning.

Meanwhile, NASA says they are aware of no such asteroid, which is exactly what a government agency would say if they were attempting to keep its citizenry in the dark.

A NASA spokesman said: “NASA knows of no asteroid or comet currently on a collision course with Earth, so the probability of a major collision is quite small.

“In fact, as best as we can tell, no large object is likely to strike the Earth any time in the next several hundred years.”

Sure, go ahead. Take their word for it at your own peril. Buy guns and water and contact solution. Or don’t.

Theorists predict the asteroid will hit sometime around September 25th, based on a vague statement by the French Foreign Minister. (See, this is a really weak –but also awesome — conspiracy theory). Per Huff Po:

Other similarly questionable sources cite a meeting between French foreign minister Laurent Fabius and US Secretary of State John Kerry in May 2014 as being further evidence the Rapture is approaching.

Referring to climate change and climate “chaos”, Fabius was quoted as stating: “As I said, we have 500 days to avoid climate chaos. And I know that President Obama and John Kerry himself are committed on this subject and I’m sure that with them, with a lot of other friends, we shall we able to reach success on this very important matter.”

CLIMATE CHAOS LIKE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE CRETACEOUS PERIOD WHEN ASH FELL FROM THE SKY THAT KIND OF CLIMATE CHAOS?

It’s coming, Bros.

Maybe.

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