You Can Make Yourself Attractive To TWICE As Many Women By Changing This One Grooming Habit, According To A Survey

As usual, I’m going to put my foot down and disagree with the masses. Not because I’m a contrary person (lol what a lie), but because I find most beards disgusting. What girl wants to lay down to cuddle with a guy and look up just to see Dorito crumbs strewn throughout a thick forest of face bush? Yes yes, I know that’s not everyone – some people like Cheetos over Doritos. Same brush different stroke. But what do I know? According to an extramarital affair dating site (wow what a fucking source THAT is) that asked over 9,000 men and women about their ideas of a perfect lover, chicks dig beards.

Over 9,000 men and women were asked their idea of the perfect lover by an extramarital affair dating site.

One in five women across 22 countries said that they wanted a lover with facial hair. In comparison, only 9 per cent said they preferred a smooth face.(Via)

I’ll admit some facial hair can be hot, just not an excessive amount. For example, this:

makes me want to vomit, while some scruff like this:

will get me to marry you even if you’re a serial killer. I can overlook murder, but an abundance of face pubes? Nah, go blow some stacks on a weed whacker and trim that shit down.

But what happens if you’re physically incapable of growing a beard? Well you better hope that your personality doesn’t suck, since according to the same survey 62.40% of women look for men with a good personality, while 34.20% were primarily searching for someone who they found attractive. As for the remaining 3.40%, well, they’re undecided. How that’s possible is beyond me, but then again I’m a superficial twat who judges people the second I meet them. To each their own, I suppose.

So what’s the moral of the story?

Rule #1: Be Attractive
Rule #2: Don’t Be Unattractive

And at the very worst, grow a beard. It probably won’t hurt your chances.

[H/T Mirror, header image via Shutterstock]