If You Can Find Me A Beer Pong Dunk More Impressive Than This One, I’ll Give You All $28 In My Bank Account

That dude just jumped over a full fucking dinner table, right? Off two feet, no? Just want to clarify because I’ve watched it probably nine times and am trying to figure out how someone could be so much more physically gifted than I am. The dude looked like he got shot out of a fucking cannon.

What makes it more impressive is that he set the world long jump record with a belly full of beer. If I run up a flight of stairs after a couple cold ones, I’m pulling the trigger over the toilet but telling my friends I was taking a shit. You legit couldn’t slide a sheet of paper under my feet if I tried to elevate.

It shouldn’t go without mentioning that the cup remained unmoved. World-class body control, elite finesse. God damnit, it pains me that I will never be as good at anything as this dude is at dunking a small ping pong ball over a picnic table. But you already knew that, right DAD?!

When your girl start scrolling through your texts…

[h/t barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.