Beyonce’s Wax Statue Looks Absolutely Nothing Like Her And Some Statue Maker Guy Needs To Lose His Job

With the exception of Mona Lisa and Albert Einstein, Beyonce’s face is the most recognizable melon in the universe. Literally if you showed a picture of Queen B to your great grandmother or a member of ISIS, both would, without hesitation, be able to identify her.

Everybody on the planet knows what Beyonce looks like, with the exception of the wax statue artists at New York’s famous Madame Tussauds museum, right in the heart of Times Square. Now mind you, the singular goal of the museum is provide wax statues that resemble celebrities, and they charge you a minimum of $30 just to enter.

And look how they did Ms. Knowles.


It’s the Tom Brady courtroom sketch of wax statues.

But wait, they decided to double and triple down on the catastrophe.

I present to you Beyonce Knowles your friend Kimberly who gets shitfaced at happy hour and prematurely starts signing ‘Single Ladies.’


Your waitress for tonight will be Belinda Knowles, a struggling actress who is looking for her big break in between Denny’s shifts.


Good try, Madame Tussauds. Good effort.

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Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.