Yesterday, I brought you the feel-good story of two wild and crazy kids who were caught fucking in the bathroom on a Norwegian Airlines flight to Stockholm. Instead of being reprimanded, the pilot got on the intercom and gave them a verbal fist bump, to which the entire flight started cheering them. The whole story made me feel warm and fuzzy. Kinda horny too, if we’re being honest.
Anyway, I encouraged our readers to send in their plane fucking stories because previously I thought the ‘Mile High Club’ was just a pipe dream, a bro fantasy. Every bro in America knows what the Mile High Club is but I’ve never met anyone who has a first or second hand account. And I know some grimy-ass degenerates. Like scum of the Earth. Like fingering chicks in Church-type dudes.
Well, thanks to an opportunistic BroBible reader, I finally have a tried-and-true personal anecdote of a Mile High achievement. And it’s excellent. Props to my boy Steve for sending this in and restoring my faith in the possibility of fucking on the open skies.
Matt I read your article about the Mile High Club and until a few months ago I would have been with you. If anyone told me they fucked in the bathroom on a plane I would have called bullshit.
Like I said, that all changed a few months ago. I was going to Vegas this past May and while I was waiting for my flight I figured that there’s no better place to wait than the bar. On the way to the bar I walked past a pretty hot girl. We both looked at each other but continued on our separate ways. After a few drinks, I head back to my gate and as luck would have it the girl I walked past was on the same flight as me. With my new found liquid courage I sat down next to her and chatted her up a bit.
Editor’s Note: BroTip: No swings, no hits, bros. Babe Ruth led the league in strike outs, now he has a fucking candy bar named after him.
We were flying Spirit Airlines out of BWI. You cold only imagine the scum of the earth that filled that plane, so I wisely suggested that we switch our seats so we’re next to each other. After we changed seats we both went to the bar for one last drink prior to takeoff.
Editor’s Note: Spirit Airlines may be the only airline in the sky that I’d have the courage to attempt to fuck on. Because it will probably be my last. Pretty sure they hire obedient monkeys to fly those planes.
Editor’s Note Pt. 2: Disregard above statement. Forgot about Malaysian Airlines.
Fast forward a little bit: we start watching a movie on my laptop at some point during the movie her hand goes to my leg and mine to hers. That was followed my a little finger play on my part. Eventually I said “I really wish i could fuck you right now.” She said ” I was thinking the same thing lets do it. Ill go to the bathroom and unlock the door after 30 sec, when the light turns green come in.”
So thats what we did. Now, as for what we actually consider “fucking” you gotta give us a little credit here. Remember Spirit Airlines. Smallest fucking bathroom in the world and I’m not a small guy. But anyway, I went in and we went at it for abouuuttt 1 min. That was until we hear someone pounding on the door.
Editor’s Note: Judge Judy, does one minute fucking in a plane count?
I think that’s a yes.
P.S. Would you fuck Judge Judy even though she’s like 72? Me too.
Turns out, the flight attendant saw the whole thing progress. When we came out he threatened to have us arrested when we landed. We did did have some supporters in the first couple rows who clapped and high five us on the way back to our seat.
Now, at this point, we had about 45 min till we landed. Once we did finally land is when things got awkward. We didn’t get a congrats from the pilot, instead the same flight attendant got on the intercom ad said “welcome to las vegas, blah blah blah, and just a reminder to the two individuals who decided to use the bathroom for things other than it was intended for, consider yourselves lucky, but next time you will be arrested.”
Editor’s Note: Dear Flight Attendant, Shut your bitch mouth.
That’s when the entire plane booed him and cheered for us. People yelling “Fuck it it’s Vegas! It was great.
Now again 1 min doesn’t really constitute anything. But fuck it, we’re both counting it all things considered. Best part is after we landed we realized we were at the same hotel and went to finish the deed.
Turns out, we don’t live far from each other and will occasionally booty call each other which I’m 100% ok with.
Editor’s Note: FOR THE WIN!
Props to Steve for sending this in and getting it in.
BRO PSA: Send in your Mile High Club stories to the Tip Line to be featured and leave your footprint on the internet FOREVER.